Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Porny on the runway!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 4, 2009 08:22:00 September 4, 2009 08:22:00

Jessica Simpson was the special guest model at the Ozlem Suer fashion show in Paris today. Yes, I hate the dress too. And the shoes stink of hooker-wear. Having said that, big ups to the designer for putting a body on the catwalk that isn’t allergic to food. Because aside from the assy styling, Jessica looks great. Full Story

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Proud Tears

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 07:03:01 September 1, 2009 07:03:01

Look at our Porny… Yesterday at LAX with Ken Paves and her dad – her tits are under control, it’s a very flattering trench cinched at the right spot, hair is natural and unweaved, a very cute pair of shoes in a tasteful colour… There is no trace of porn. Porny looks decent. Oh honey. Full Story

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Porny the judge

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 08:09:38 August 17, 2009 08:09:38

Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s pimp father Joe has been campaigning on behalf of his daughter to replace Paula Abdul’s vacated seat at the judge’s table on American Idol. Full Story

Manslinger succeeds where Porny failed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 12, 2009 09:28:39 August 12, 2009 09:28:39

Porny started dating Tony Romo and he started sucking. They blamed her rather unfairly, I think. After all, Romo was unproven at the time he was offered that huge contract, still unproven now, and widely regarded as totally overhyped. Porny became the scapegoat. Poor Porny. Before Kate Hudson Alex Rodriguez was already regarded as highly skilled, with the numbers to back it up. Full Story

Shut your cockmouth and wear a bra

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 3, 2009 09:48:02 August 3, 2009 09:48:02

An extraordinary amount of patience is required to be friends with Jessica Simpson. I am not a patient person. But I am a good friend. And she needs me, so I’m working on it. Porny is frustrating though because progress is always mixed with f-ckery. Before celebrating improvement, you must wait for the other shoe to drop. Full Story

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Written for Jessica, meant for Lindsay

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 27, 2009 13:22:33 July 27, 2009 13:22:33

Jessica Simpson continues to hook up and break up with men who humiliate her. As if it wasn’t enough that he dumped her the night before her birthday, Us Weekly reports that Tony Romo apparently also announced the break up to everyone living in his gated community, informing security that she was no longer to be allowed access to his home in Dallas which is why a sign at the entrance has been posted that reads: "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN. Full Story

It’s helping...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2009 12:23:00 July 24, 2009 12:23:00

We are helping? As imaginary friends of Jessica Simpson, I think our work is working. No more articles on People.com from “friends” describing that she’s sad and mopey and a total loser sitting on her mom’s couch drunk texting Tony Romo. Instead, two sightings in a row that reflect a more pulled-together, more positive, more defiant Jessica. Full Story

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Enough wallowing

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 09:08:34 July 22, 2009 09:08:34

Good. Porny is going back to the gym. She wallowed in her jammies for a couple of weeks after Tony Romo bailed on her and now, obviously, she called up Ken Paves, told him to do her hair, had a makeup artist come by and apply the “natural” look, and made arrangements to be photographed emerging from break up hell. Full Story

Gift from a Douche

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 20, 2009 06:55:30 July 20, 2009 06:55:30

How long before they get back together? John Mayer lives for attention. And he knows it would be a great story. Pisser is probably working it with Porny right now over text and Skype, perhaps he sent her a CD of tracks, new limp dick music to heal her broken heart. It’s apparently a move he uses often. Full Story

He peed on Porny’s love

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 14, 2009 16:22:32 July 14, 2009 16:22:32

Why did Romo walk out on Porny? According to Radar John Mayer’s been f-cking around again. Word is everything between Jessica Simpson and QB1 was great…until last Thursday when he found out that Douchebag was still texting her. Full Story

Here come the pants

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 13, 2009 12:24:58 July 13, 2009 12:24:58

Oh no. Oh girl, oh no. I am still not Jessica Simpson’s friend. Neither are you. So we can’t help her. And she will need help. A LOT of help. People.com is reporting that she’s been dumped by Tony Romo again. Full Story