Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

What’s wrong Jessie?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2009 08:01:03 February 6, 2009 08:01:03

Let me help! TMZ is reporting that during a performance last night in Grand Rapids, Michigan, our Porny supposedly exhibited signs of emotional distress. According to locals, one of the indications was that she forgot the lyrics to her own song Come On Over. Full Story

Porny covered everywhere!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 4, 2009 12:14:05 February 4, 2009 12:14:05

When you go for groceries this weekend, you’ll be staring at Porny while you pay. THREE tabloid covers this week – all featuring Porny’s pants! Was she this famous at the height of newlyweds? Was she this famous when her divorce was announced? Debatable. Oh put your pity hearts away! This is working FOR her, gossips, not against her. Full Story

More famous than ever

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2009 08:39:05 February 2, 2009 08:39:05

I stopped by the supermarket yesterday and while I was waiting in line to pay Porny’s Pants were everywhere. Almost every cover. There’s Porny in her high waisted atrocity, one breast fighting the other breast underneath that black tank, more famous than she’s been in years. Years. Full Story

Keep the shoes on

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 30, 2009 06:38:36 January 30, 2009 06:38:36

Still tacky as sh-t but definitely an improvement on her diaper jeans from the chili fair – this is Porny performing in Charlottesville, Virginia yesterday in leather pants and a black blazer. But then she took her shoes off. And the sight of a woman, in leather pants and bare feet…it’s just so low classy, non? It’s just so f-cking base. Full Story

What a difference…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 29, 2009 06:48:08 January 29, 2009 06:48:08

My girl Porny arriving in Virginia yesterday after a sh-tstorm this week over her body. Have always said, Jessica Simpson is at her best casual, with minimum makeup and natural(ish) hair. On these occasions, usually at airports, she is a knockout. SO pretty. Unfortunately, as a result of her low classy taste, and her dumbass hairstylist Ken Paves, the stage Jess is always too loud, too poufy, too tranny, too Porny, too high-waisted, and two belts. Full Story

Size 2 is everywhere

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2009 13:15:34 January 28, 2009 13:15:34

This Porny Simpson business… As you know, these photos have made headlines everywhere. Like if the Brange hadn’t come along to show off the family in Tokyo, Porny’s pictures would have been the top story all week long. But no one beats the Brange. For the record, in the original article here posted on Monday, I wrote very clearly that “Jessica Simpson has a lovely body. Full Story

The First Couple of Fail

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2009 11:45:10 January 27, 2009 11:45:10

There is no hate-on for Porny. Quite the opposite actually. Over time, my black ass heart has opened for Jessica Simpson out of sheer pity. She doesn’t mean unwell. She’s not poorly intentioned. But she was raised, well, you know, by a dude who freely talks about her D cups. And without friends, without girls like us, she really never had a chance to be a girl like us. Full Story

Porny Happy New Year!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 08:15:00 January 26, 2009 08:15:00

You know the photo. The Classic Jessica Simpson High Waisted Photo. It made our lives. It continues to make our lives. On a rainy day. If work is the sh-ts. If your mother won’t get off your ass about sending her to Vegas for her birthday… There’s Porny in her pants giving us a reason to live again. Full Story

View All 18 Photos

Porny so happy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 7, 2009 16:34:07 January 7, 2009 16:34:07

As her friend, I’m happy for her. Like the good friend vibes are working, you know? Just because we don’t speak, doesn’t mean the energy isn’t there. Celebrities talk about “energy” all the time. We’ve all been sending her the true friend energy, right? The energy to avoid high waisted pants. Full Story

Common-law Cowboy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 6, 2009 12:00:29 January 6, 2009 12:00:29

Tony Romo is very, very serious about Jessica Simpson. Because he’s implying that she’s much more than just a girlfriend. The message is that she’s almost a wife. Like a common-law wife, wifely enough to be included in the 2008 Cowboys Family Cookbook presented by “the wives of the Dallas Cowboys”. Full Story

Porny consolation

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 5, 2009 07:29:32 January 5, 2009 07:29:32

She’s actually not porny at all here. What she is is very, very pretty. Always pretty when she’s not tackied up. Jessica accompanied Tony Romo back to Dallas this weekend after celebrating new year’s in Miami, trying to help him forget about his embarrassing three turnovers that led to the Cowboys loss to the Philadelphia Eagles that kept them out of the playoffs. Full Story

View All 8 Photos