Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Porny smells Fancy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 8, 2008 06:47:18 December 8, 2008 06:47:18

What is it with celebrity fragrances? Why do I want to stank like Porny? Or Chicken Fried Britney? Or Ebola Hilton? Or, for that matter, Victoria Beckham’s concrete tits? I don’t care how good it smells. I don’t f-cking care if it smells like Jim Sturgess in the morning when he’s lying in my bed. Full Story

Porny at the Bingo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2008 12:53:00 November 14, 2008 12:53:00

The caption that accompanied these photos reads as follows:Jessica Simpson singing at San Manuel Bingo and Casino. Bless her heart… she’s singing at the Bingo. Photos from Splashnewsonline.com  Full Story

Country Wax

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 07:58:58 November 13, 2008 07:58:58

Carrie Underwood won big last night at the CMAs. She also changed, like, 45 times. And each time she came out, she still looked like her wax figure so in the style department, she’s not exactly kicking Porny Simpson’s ass… As for that mall hair I mentioned in reference to Taylor Swift – straight on top, curly on bottom – perfect example right here on Country’s biggest bitch whose ego, if you can believe it, is actually heavier and more volatile, than her hair. Full Story

He got the trainer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 12, 2008 07:08:45 November 12, 2008 07:08:45

My husband and I joke about it all the time. But seriously. Who gets the dog if we divorce? I say me because Marcus was my 30th birthday present. He says him because I’m just Marcus’s food bitch. Needless to say, never mind anything else, over the dog…it’ll get ugly. When it comes to Hollywood splits, who gets what and how do they decide? I’ve heard some separations are so nasty they even fight over the plants. Full Story

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Porny`s Pap Drama

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2008 07:20:00 November 3, 2008 07:20:00

Jessica Simpson went out for dinner the other night with her main ‘mo Ken Paves and he ended up getting hit in the face by a pap camera, gushing blood from his head, requiring a trip to the hospital. He did however have the good sense to tuck Porny into the car before taking care of himself. Is that enough to forgive him for making her look like sh-t all the time? Negative. Full Story

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Porny at Macy’s

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2008 07:12:45 October 29, 2008 07:12:45

She must be surrounded by backstabbers. Surrounded by them. How else can you explain? Why else would she walk out the door wearing this? The fur collar. And the wrap. And the silver. And the hair. Porny looks like a 50 year old divorcee, she looks like Ivanka Trump…WTF? This is Jessica Simpson last night on the Macy’s red carpet, as usual, styled from the ass. Full Story

Desperate goes back for more

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2008 07:08:51 October 14, 2008 07:08:51

Dear Jennifer Aniston: Are you Jessica Simpson??? I know the source is suspect but they claim to have eyewitnesses and were able to nail down the logistics pretty tight… so far, it seems legit. And considering we’re discussing Jennifer Aniston, something this desperate and pathetic is entirely possible. Full Story

Thankful for Friends

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 13, 2008 10:58:04 October 13, 2008 10:58:04

Real girls don’t let girls go out looking stupid. Or twatty. Or porny. And certainly not all of the above. So it goes without saying, this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for my girls. Because while I may go out looking like a raging f&cking bitch every day, my girls would never let me go out looking like my legs belong permanently in the air with my mouth wrapped around a cock. Full Story

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Compulsive Narcissist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 10, 2008 10:42:18 October 10, 2008 10:42:18

He can’t help himself, you know? He can’t help bringing things back to his favourite subject. John Mayer’s favourite subject is John Mayer. Thanks to M at Berklee College for sending this in: Hi Lainey!!I'm in my last year at Berklee College of Music in Boston where John Mayer briefly attended. Full Story

Beyonce sings for Porny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 08:53:20 October 8, 2008 08:53:20

The first piece of advice on my new site BeJessicasFriend.com would be to hang out more with someone like B. Beyonce doesn’t get stepped on. And she had a daddy manager too. And even though B’s mom dresses her like sh*t, the smell of a blowjob isn’t always lingering fresh around her lips. Full Story

What can she do?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 1, 2008 14:30:19 October 1, 2008 14:30:19

Porny can’t act. Porny can’t dress. Porny can’t think. Porny can’t make good decisions. And now… Porny can’t sing. Call me Cruise but I always thought she could sing. At the very least, I thought she could do that. Her old songs may have sucked and her technique may have been gymnastic vocals at its worst, but I naively believed that the title “Jessica Simpson, singer”, was not a fallacy. Full Story