Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Papa Perv F*cks Up Again

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 15, 2008 10:50:52 January 15, 2008 10:50:52

Jessica Simpson’s career is in deep sh*t. She can’t sell a movie, she can’t sell pop music so she’s trying her hand at country music… but now Texas hates her ass. And if her home state hates her ass, how the hell is she going to move a country record? Blame Joe Simpson. Full Story

Pissing Douche on the Loose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 9, 2008 13:54:12 January 9, 2008 13:54:12

John Mayer is single again! According to People, after dating FNL’s Minka Kelly for a few months, the two have now broken up. Looks like Minka came to her senses. How do you go from Taylor Kitsch dripping sweat all over you to John Mayer pulling out his pee and showering you with his piss? Actually…John Mayer seems like that guy who dumps you and then calls you again when he finds out you’re dating someone else. Full Story

Simpsons Holiday: Distraction or Relaxation?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 7, 2008 00:00:00 January 7, 2008 00:00:00

Jessica Simpson and pervy Papa Pimp Joe Simpson and her mother and her friends took Tony Romo to Cabo this weekend for a little R&R. Apparently Jess and Tony were seen rubbing each other’s asses, very affectionate with each other and very friendly with her parents. Ew. They also enjoyed the services of a personal chef. Full Story

How to Help Your Man

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 2, 2008 04:37:01 January 2, 2008 04:37:01

Gisele Bundchen is a supermodel, by profession and genetic jackpot, understandably one of the most narcissistic creatures on the planet. And still, Gisele is capable of putting her ego away when a game is on the line. When her man Tom Brady needs to focus on the job, Gisele knows it’s not her time. Full Story

Worse than Gigli

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 24, 2007 00:00:00 December 24, 2007 00:00:00

You didn’t think it was possible, did you? For a movie to bomb harder than Gigli? Not surprisingly, Papa Pervy Pimp Joe Simpson has managed to earn the dubious distinction and he is managing his daughter’s career straight into the sh*tter. Jessica’s film Blonde Ambition was released in 8 theatres in Texas this weekend with a per theatre average of just $227 over three days, grossing only $1,251. Full Story

They Hate Jess, They Love Nick

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 21, 2007 12:07:12 December 21, 2007 12:07:12

It’s been two years since their split but still Nick Lachey is coming out on top. His album has outsold hers, he has a steady girlfriend who dresses like a tacky pageant queen with a slamming body doesn’t pee on him and loves to do it in public and hasn’t walked out on him, and somehow he’s managed to rally support from the MiniVan Majority, who just voted for his choir, making him the first celebrity winner of Clash of the Choirs, a viewer vote-based contest, with $250,000 going to the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Centre. Full Story

Papa Joe Can’t Manage

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 21, 2007 04:03:56 December 21, 2007 04:03:56

Pervy Papa Pimp Joe Simpson has totally f&cked up Jessica Simpson’s career, not to mention her love life, and now he’s also failing with Ashlee. Ashlee’s new album was set to drop in November but has since been pushed back to early 2008. Word is she’s back in studio for rewrites and tweaks. Full Story

Learn from Brady & Bundchen

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 19, 2007 15:11:25 December 19, 2007 15:11:25

Ok now I feel badly for her just a little. Seems like Jessica Simpson can do no right post-divorce. She makes a record, it suck ass. She makes a movie…several movies…they suck ass too. She finds a boyfriend…he pees on her, is embarrassed of her, and breaks up with her because his fans hate her. Full Story

Monday, December 17, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Prior to yesterday, Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys’ only loss of the year came at the hands of Tom Brady and the New England Patriots who’ve not bowed to anyone and are two wins from achieving the perfect season. But then Jessica Simpson (see below) shows up with Papa Perv in the stands, primping and posing for the cameras, and the Cowboys totally tank a game they should have won. Snort.

Athletes are more superstitious than Chinese people. Don’t be surprised if Jess gets the boot. Trust.

Britney’s Piece of Me video – did you watch? Thoughts? More on that later.

Monday, am online all day, check back back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Sarah Jessica Parker is NOT on Holiday Detox. Also NOT Angelina Jolie.

John Mayer ShameFace: Best of 2007

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 12, 2007 00:00:00 December 12, 2007 00:00:00

By the end of it, when it actually ended, I admit… I was kinda sad. Too many fun smutty moments came from their relationship and the thought of Jess’s cheap ass weave getting urinated on by John Mayer was just too good. But what should never have been could never have lasted. One look at them while they were together makes it plainly obvious: John was ashamed the entire time. Full Story