Jessica Simpson Gossip
Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.
We were watching the hockey game last night. My husband’s team was protecting a one goal lead, the opposition had pulled their goaltender, and an inexperienced young player for the good side went for the empty net a bit too hastily, prompting this to fly out of my husband’s mouth:
“F*ck Burrows! Relax! Quit blowing yer load before her panties come off!”
Crude, yes. But a brilliant analogy nonetheless. Once in a while, you actually can learn from someone who was raised in a smelly locker-room. And on that classy note, how about the blind item that appeared in Gatecrasher this morning?
“Which blond bombshell, on a recent visit to Rome, became ill and soiled her bedsheets so badly that the hotel mattress had to be replaced? Also, “she and [her boyfriend] have a reputation for really dirty sex," says a snitch.”
If memory serves, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer vacationed together in Italy not too long ago, yes? And she had the flu one day, didn’t she? Which is why he ventured out alone with his camera? And does peeing on someone count as dirty?
Today is Wednesday, live blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.
Yours in gossip,
I’m sorry…I can’t. I can’t get over it. And this is a better shot - full body, so you can see more of the Jessica Simpson eye rapage. What I’m beginning to appreciate more and more are those pockets. As if it wasn’t bad enough that her pants are hiked up to her tits and the waist band is FOLDING OVER, she had to add 2 koala style pouches on each hip, just in case you weren’t fixated enough on that region. Full Story
Not that any amount of surgery or martian intervention could changes things and of course, Jessica Simpson is not even the smallest fraction of what Kate Winslet is but still… both by Hollywood standards are not stick insects, both have curves, both have bodies that are probably hated by Anna Wintour and in spite of all that, few can come close to the gorgessity of Kate Winslet. Full Story
Soooo mean, I know. But I’m still laughing. I mean, how can you not laugh? How can you??? Look at her! Look.At.Her!!! She’s top heavy and she has a tranny man body…and she’s wearing high waisted pants that look like bloomers and worse yet – she WORE THEM TO A CLUB!!! Jessica Simpson, last night, Winstons! No seriously…I can’t stop looking. Full Story
We all have irrational, totally unreasonable pet peeves. For me it’s turned-out feet. For my friend Erin it’s people who can’t close their mouths – illustrated perfectly by Prince William: beaver bucks, big lips, can’t inhale through his nose, FAR from sexy…which is why I think Kate Middleton is much better off. Who wants to get mouth-breathed on for the rest of her life by a prematurely balding, emotionally stunted “art history” major?
If you ask me, she escaped an excruciatingly boring life. Well done.
Weekend catch up to follow including the Pitts’ planned outing, Britney thin and loopy, and my Kiki in the land of Hello Kitty.
Monday – live blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.
Yours in gossip,
PS. Another great Saturday Night Live. Fred Armisen’s Prince rendition never fails to kill me. But this week, the best sketch by far was the homage to John Mayer and Jessica Simpson. His spastic guitar playing, her spastic vocal gymnastics, and at the end, confirming what we all know: he’s a pig, she’s a hot piece of occasional tranny ass, and he enjoys pissing all over it. Click here for the clip - enjoy!
Navigating the gossip terrain is a tricky business. Celebrity spin, publicists feeding fake stories, weeding through the sales and the conspiracies – unless you’re a card carrying member of the MiniVan Majority, you probably want to be a bit more discerning with your smut, right? Especially since the rags will pretty much print anything. Full Story
At an event honouring Diane Keaton last night. All over her hair and the eyes look rather…refreshed, non? But the dress. Can’t say I’m down with the dress. A bit prom on the skirt non? And the cut, perhaps not on someone so short? Just makes her look even littler, I think. And if you’re not tall either, save it with your protest email – I’m height challenged as well. Full Story
John Mayer and Jessica Simpson at the beach in Australia – kissing, frolicking, and playing despite the obvious pappy presence capturing every “romantic” gesture. So you tell me: is this for real or is this for show? People Magazine – no surprise – is providing full details about how in love they truly are, with eyewitness reports of constant PDA and genuine devotion. Full Story
Was backstage during rehearsals and soundcheck all weekend. You know how some musicians, when they’re performing live, they sound nothing like the studio product? And then you realise that photoshop doesn’t only apply to a visual package? Not sure how it came across on tv but Nelly live sounds just as clean as it does on the disc. Full Story
OK seriously… Janice Min outdid herself this week. The Drug Issue - obviously they can’t go full on and name names but some of the photos are pretty killer. Like one of Jack Nicholson I’d never seen before with white powder lining his nostrils. And Ryan Phillippe toking on…something. But the guessing games, the guessing games put this issue over the top. Full Story