Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Trend Whore vs The Chubb

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 24, 2007 12:00:00 April 24, 2007 12:00:00

Who doesn’t like fashion? Staying up to date, rolling with the latest styles and trends and being in the “style” know … we all do it. But here’s the conundrum: how do you balance Trendy with Vanity? Example: High Waist is back. Works only for the long and lean and definitely NOT on Jessica Simpson. Full Story

Four Spice Weekend

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 23, 2007 12:00:00 April 23, 2007 12:00:00

All present but for Scary who is in America fighting with her baby daddy Eddie Murphy. But Ginger, Baby, Sporty, and of course Posh were all there, in honour of Bluebell’s christening. And contrary to popular opinion - LOVE the name Bluebell. Blue for short, am all over it. And she’s gorgeous, non? That rosebud mouth, not quite as large as The Chosen One Shiloh’s, but prominent still, and so pretty and fair, just like lovely mum Geri who has never been so fetching and fit… love, love, love. Full Story

A High Waisted Difference

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 20, 2007 12:00:00 April 20, 2007 12:00:00

Now Mischa Barton, though to be fair, even if it’s not her best look, and nowhere near her best look, nothing comes close to Jessica Simpson’s now legendary atrocity from earlier this week. Besides, the gorgessity of those boots on Mischa’s feet balance out the high waisted blue shorts anyway, non? Call me Cruise but I think she looks cute. Full Story

McGosling Still Lives: Another Non Story

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 20, 2007 12:00:00 April 20, 2007 12:00:00

For the first Non-Story, click here. A thousand apologies to the sane among you who don’t give a rat’s ass. Also sorry about the asinity of this post. But I don’t exaggerate the rapacity of the lunatic McGoslings: hundreds and hundreds of emails flooding my inbox, losing their sh-t over the status of their favourite couple – so obsessed that they are practically living on message boards, overanalyzing comments, helping each other cope, and (disbelievingly enough) a few are posing as me or claiming private communication with me, and making statements and fabricating information to further their own theories about Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling resulting in even more emails flooding my inbox… absolutely NOT TRUE. Full Story

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Lindsay Lohan’s MySpace was allegedly hacked. Some interesting exchanges have been “leaked”… more on that below.

It’s been a day and I’m still not over Jessica Simpson’s high waisted horror from yesterday. Is it wrong to take such pleasure out of looking at that sh-t from every angle?

Totally. Totally totally wrong. But I can’t help it.

Enjoy…just a few more shots. Consider it a public service. That this should happen to no one else. Or… given how amusing it’s been…maybe it should.

Thursday, blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

source

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Dear Gossips,

We were watching the hockey game last night. My husband’s team was protecting a one goal lead, the opposition had pulled their goaltender, and an inexperienced young player for the good side went for the empty net a bit too hastily, prompting this to fly out of my husband’s mouth:

“F*ck Burrows! Relax! Quit blowing yer load before her panties come off!”

Crude, yes. But a brilliant analogy nonetheless. Once in a while, you actually can learn from someone who was raised in a smelly locker-room. And on that classy note, how about the blind item that appeared in Gatecrasher this morning?
“Which blond bombshell, on a recent visit to Rome, became ill and soiled her bedsheets so badly that the hotel mattress had to be replaced? Also, “she and [her boyfriend] have a reputation for really dirty sex," says a snitch.”

Hmmm…

If memory serves, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer vacationed together in Italy not too long ago, yes? And she had the flu one day, didn’t she? Which is why he ventured out alone with his camera? And does peeing on someone count as dirty?

Just asking.

Today is Wednesday, live blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

Can’t Let Go

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

I’m sorry…I can’t. I can’t get over it. And this is a better shot - full body, so you can see more of the Jessica Simpson eye rapage. What I’m beginning to appreciate more and more are those pockets. As if it wasn’t bad enough that her pants are hiked up to her tits and the waist band is FOLDING OVER, she had to add 2 koala style pouches on each hip, just in case you weren’t fixated enough on that region. Full Story

This is How Pt 1

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Not that any amount of surgery or martian intervention could changes things and of course, Jessica Simpson is not even the smallest fraction of what Kate Winslet is but still… both by Hollywood standards are not stick insects, both have curves, both have bodies that are probably hated by Anna Wintour and in spite of all that, few can come close to the gorgessity of Kate Winslet. Full Story

Not for Everyone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Soooo mean, I know. But I’m still laughing. I mean, how can you not laugh? How can you??? Look at her! Look.At.Her!!! She’s top heavy and she has a tranny man body…and she’s wearing high waisted pants that look like bloomers and worse yet – she WORE THEM TO A CLUB!!! Jessica Simpson, last night, Winstons! No seriously…I can’t stop looking. Full Story

Monday, April 16, 2007

Dear Gossips,

We all have irrational, totally unreasonable pet peeves. For me it’s turned-out feet. For my friend Erin it’s people who can’t close their mouths – illustrated perfectly by Prince William: beaver bucks, big lips, can’t inhale through his nose, FAR from sexy…which is why I think Kate Middleton is much better off. Who wants to get mouth-breathed on for the rest of her life by a prematurely balding, emotionally stunted “art history” major?

If you ask me, she escaped an excruciatingly boring life. Well done.

Weekend catch up to follow including the Pitts’ planned outing, Britney thin and loopy, and my Kiki in the land of Hello Kitty.

Monday – live blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Another great Saturday Night Live. Fred Armisen’s Prince rendition never fails to kill me. But this week, the best sketch by far was the homage to John Mayer and Jessica Simpson. His spastic guitar playing, her spastic vocal gymnastics, and at the end, confirming what we all know: he’s a pig, she’s a hot piece of occasional tranny ass, and he enjoys pissing all over it. Click here for the clip - enjoy!