Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Gossip, Sports, Valley Girls, Whores…and My Mother

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 12, 2007 12:00:00 January 12, 2007 12:00:00

Shameless self promotion – consider yourself warned, stop reading now if you can’t stand it. Off the Record yesterday, the ultra charismatic Michael Landsberg put me in the hot seat for a segment called Next Question – a series of questions delivered rapid-fire about sports and celebrities covering everyone from Derek Jeter to Tara Reid to Yao Ming to John Travolta to Tom Cruise. Full Story

The Daily Haggard: Johnny Knoxville

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 9, 2007 12:00:00 January 9, 2007 12:00:00

Jessica Simpson knows what she did…and I don’t blame her – Johnny Knoxville is HOT. Was Hot. If you thought Brad looked bunk the other day, that was nothing compared to this: JK also at the God Grew Tired of Us premiere Monday night looking very, very ill. Or hung over. Or hung over from too many nights of being hung over. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: Tranny in Red

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 5, 2007 12:00:00 January 5, 2007 12:00:00

Labouring again for Pervy Joe, this time shooting an ad for Pizza Hut, jammed into a red dress, tacky ass hair and lips – see what I mean? When she tries to go glam, she only ends up looking like a tranny. SO much better stripped down and natural...and perhaps getting pissed on too. But we’ll never see those shots, will we? Then again, maybe we will. Full Story

Jess & John: the New Year’s Kiss

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2007 12:00:00 January 4, 2007 12:00:00

Well…Nick and Nessa had their cheesy but endearing gold lamé moment, now feast your eyes on Jessica and John Mayer - obviously on her nightstand for a reason, non? I do feel badly though, I do feel badly for his fans. This can’t be good, this can’t be a popular development. Because isn’t Jessica Simpson the antithesis of what John Mayer fans expected from John Mayer and what John Mayer projected was expected of him? The sensitive lyrics, the smart, quick wit, talented and respected –clearly it hasn’t precluded him from the same old same old – give him a dumb blonde with huge knockers and even huger lips and it’s all good baby…all good all night long. Full Story

Joe Simpson: Pervy Pimp is Pissed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 2, 2007 12:00:00 January 2, 2007 12:00:00

Damn. Now I can’t decide who’s worse: Dina Lohan’s vicarious living or Joe Simpson’s child slave labour…sorry for the crass but it’s like comparing sh-t to diarrhea. So you know about Jessie’s meltdown at the Kennedy Center Honours, right? That she was subsequently cut from the show – reportedly at her request – and consequently not paid for her troubles: hair, makeup, clothing, accommodations - it all adds up, you know. Full Story

Nick & Miss Vanessa: MTV PDA

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 2, 2007 12:00:00 January 2, 2007 12:00:00

One year later – is this the face of a man who didn’t want to end his marriage? Sorry for the little gloat but at the time of the divorce announcement, when it was widely circulated courtesy of Pervy Joe Simpson that Jessica was the one who pushed for separation at Nick’s resistance, I reported that HE was actually the one calling out for months, and for the sake of saving face and to help her play out a “strong woman” façade, he agreed to pretend subsequently coming out on top when it was all said and done. Full Story

Jessica & John: bedside to Barneys

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 2, 2007 12:00:00 January 2, 2007 12:00:00

As I reported exclusively before Christmas, there is only one face on Jessica Simpson’s Louisiana nightstand … and it belongs to John Mayer. Holiday hiatus, Jessie spent time in LA with her GFF Ken Paves, and then headed over to NYC where she and John spent time browsing through Barneys, conveniently captured on camera. Full Story

Lilo’s NYE:Pink and Bloated accompanied by Hermy?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 2, 2007 12:00:00 January 2, 2007 12:00:00

This recent “water bottle holding” totally cracks me up. So she says she drying out, right? Even though she keeps underage clubbing, right? And so the only LOGICAL thing to do in these situations is to walk around accessorized by non-alcoholic beverage containers prominently on display, just in case we suspect anything untoward, because everyone knows that anyone with a drinking problem, who has committed to regular AA meetings, who hangs out on the bar scene night in and night out need only clutch a bottle of Evian to convince us that she’s able to abstain, right? Bitch…please. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: Un-Fixable Tranny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 28, 2006 12:00:00 December 28, 2006 12:00:00

Amazingly enough, not all celebrities are born perfect like my Gwyneth. Some have assy hair, some have assy skin, some have assy asses, some like Katie Holmes have assy legs and some have assy legs and look like trannies, no matter how much they try to divert the attention away from the herm with their overly plumped c*cksucking lips. Full Story

Britney vs. Hollywood Ebola: a fight brews?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 14, 2006 12:00:00 December 14, 2006 12:00:00

Very possible, don’t you think? Page Six is reporting that Britney has been advised to purge herself of Hollywood Ebola, warning that her career consequences could be disastrous if she prolongs her friendship with Paris Hilton – quite obviously a tip planted by Camp Spears. Full Story

Girlcrushing on Katherine Heigl

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 12, 2006 12:00:00 December 12, 2006 12:00:00

She’s not a size 0. She’s not even a size 2. But she looks better than any twiggy cracked out skank who can fit into the standard. Katherine Heigl at the Dreamgirls premiere last night, dressing for her body, dressing appropriately, dressing like a woman with curves who can still rock with style. Full Story