Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Luke Wilson needs money

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 1, 2006 12:00:00 November 1, 2006 12:00:00

How do you go from the cult brilliance of Old School to Blonde Ambition with Jessica Simpson? The only explanation? Luke Wilson must be broke. Therefore, Luke Wilson must be selling out. Two weeks ago he wouldn’t work with her, now MTV is reporting that he’s tapped to co-star with her in a new movie…don’t know what it’s about, don’t care what it’s about, but ironically enough, filming begins later on this month in Louisiana…and you remember what happened in Louisiana, don’t you? One Jackass, one Jessie, one number between 68 and 70 – legend has it, he introduced her to the delights of oral communication and, in particular, he introduced her to the delights of oral communication from the back door. Full Story

Jess: Better With Less

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 1, 2006 12:00:00 November 1, 2006 12:00:00

I know it’s not readily apparent, my appreciation for Jessie’s looks, especially when she insists on looking like ass 99% of the time. But the thing is, when she’s not jamming her body into sausage casing, when her linebacker shoulders aren’t on prominent display, when her face has not been painted by a tranny…I think Jessica Simpson is a very, very pretty girl. Full Story

Lilo: Perpetual Pupil Pinnage & Parted Perfection

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2006 12:00:00 October 24, 2006 12:00:00

Gotta tell you…Lilo"s nose comes a very close 2nd to Courteney"s. So proud of her too that she kept the dirty face at bay at the Hollywood Awards last night. Small steps, right? Problem is - those pupils. Is it just me? Are they teeny teeny dots in two pools of blue/green gorgessity? Is this natural? Or is it the new milkshake? Just asking… Off topic for a second… You ever notice that she"s always posing with her lips half parted? I love the lips half parted pose when it"s done right. Full Story

The Billionaire Tee

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 23, 2006 12:00:00 October 23, 2006 12:00:00

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are designing clothes. Their new line is called The Row. Their first high profile product is a The Perfect Tee, perfect because the Olsens spent 9 months designing it with one signature French seam that runs down the back - the same seam that is used on many of their upcoming pieces, including a pair of impossibly flattering skinny pants that don"t bunch up on the sides. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: No First Shame

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 19, 2006 12:00:00 October 19, 2006 12:00:00

Take a look at this photo. Provocative, non? Would it make you feel any different to learn that HER FATHER took this??? And sold them to WireImage? Sorry…maybe I'm just an Asian prude but to me? That's f-cking creepy.   There is nothing profound in saying that our lives are shaped by Defining Moments, moments that dictate each and every move thereafter, experiences that form the basis of future experiences and how we react to them. Full Story

Eva Longoria: too busy, too orange

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 13, 2006 12:00:00 October 13, 2006 12:00:00

In Paris the other day - overtanned, overaccessorised, totally overrated, and apparently back together with Tony Parker...thank Goddess. I have no idea if she cheated with Mario Lopez but if she did, this broad is dumber than I thought, although she and Jessica Simpson are both coiffed by Ken Paves so I suppose it"s no coincidence? But seriously. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: hair suckage neverending

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2006 12:00:00 October 5, 2006 12:00:00

Talk about ruing a great outfit - it"s so wannabe, it"s so copied, but hey, at least her tits are leaking out the side and that, my friends, is a good thing. Jessica Simpson should be a Bond girl. The only problem though is that Bond girls generally give great hair. Now I know it"s a broken record but tell me - how is THIS considered great hair? You that girl, the girl on the tv drama, the girl workin" in the diner, the girl always up to no good, the girl always skankin" on someone"s husband, the one with no friends, just booty calls - that"s the girl who would rock this "do. Full Story

Wednesday, October 4, 2006 UPDATE: Real time blogging today! Check back often after the opening paragraph! Dear gossips, Nothing profound in saying that the greatest writers are relevant for all time. Nothing surpising then to find this in Thomas Hardy - is Kevin Federline the new Jack Durbyfield? Today"s column: George Clooney - new cover, same type; Nicole"s family relations; pro-love for Jude & Sienna; the rapidly aging Lilo; the Bazaar Posh; the Gwyneth glows; the Owen appeal; and Jessica Simpson frauds again. PS. I hate to disappoint you but Katie Holmes is stunning…even more so when she moves. And judging by this meeting, it looks like we"re close.

Jessica & John: not so fast…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2006 12:00:00 October 4, 2006 12:00:00

TMZ reported on Tuesday that Jessica Simpson and John Mayer hooked up Monday night at the Four Seasons. However, by the end of Tuesday, X17 images placed Jessica with some other dude named James Krisel at an entirely different location (see attached), discrediting - yet AGAIN - the incessant attempts, likely by her people, to manufacture relationships for her whenever she has something to promote. Full Story

If Jessie came to Canada...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2006 12:00:00 October 4, 2006 12:00:00

Check out Jessica out and about the other night with a newly enlarged pair of c*ck lips, as ridiculous as they were 9 months ago when she shot them up the first time - cheap, budget, small town trailer, tacky written all over her blonde bob, Puck Bunny written all over her big ass tits. At press time, we are just under 24 hours away from a brand new season of NHL hockey. Full Story

One Simpson Success

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 27, 2006 12:00:00 September 27, 2006 12:00:00

Even though she barely looks like herself these days, even though she allegedly sought the assistance of the Hollywood Diet Doctors for rapid thinnification, even though she"s the daughter of a creepy Papa Pimp, I have to tell you… I"m impressed. Full Story