Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Jessica Simpson: hair suckage neverending

October 5, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 5, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Talk about ruing a great outfit - it"s so wannabe, it"s so copied, but hey, at least her tits are leaking out the side and that, my friends, is a good thing. Jessica Simpson should be a Bond girl. The only problem though is that Bond girls generally give great hair. Now I know it"s a broken record but tell me - how is THIS considered great hair? You that girl, the girl on the tv drama, the girl workin" in the diner, the girl always up to no good, the girl always skankin" on someone"s husband, the one with no friends, just booty calls - that"s the girl who would rock this "do. Full Story

Wednesday, October 4, 2006
UPDATE: Real time blogging today! Check back often after the opening paragraph! Dear gossips, Nothing profound in saying that the greatest writers are relevant for all time. Nothing surpising then to find this in Thomas Hardy - is Kevin Federline the new Jack Durbyfield? Today"s column: George Clooney - new cover, same type; Nicole"s family relations; pro-love for Jude & Sienna; the rapidly aging Lilo; the Bazaar Posh; the Gwyneth glows; the Owen appeal; and Jessica Simpson frauds again. PS. I hate to disappoint you but Katie Holmes is stunning…even more so when she moves. And judging by this meeting, it looks like we"re close.

Jessica & John: not so fast…

October 4, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 4, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

TMZ reported on Tuesday that Jessica Simpson and John Mayer hooked up Monday night at the Four Seasons. However, by the end of Tuesday, X17 images placed Jessica with some other dude named James Krisel at an entirely different location (see attached), discrediting - yet AGAIN - the incessant attempts, likely by her people, to manufacture relationships for her whenever she has something to promote. Full Story

If Jessie came to Canada...

October 4, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 4, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Check out Jessica out and about the other night with a newly enlarged pair of c*ck lips, as ridiculous as they were 9 months ago when she shot them up the first time - cheap, budget, small town trailer, tacky written all over her blonde bob, Puck Bunny written all over her big ass tits. At press time, we are just under 24 hours away from a brand new season of NHL hockey. Full Story

One Simpson Success

September 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at September 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Even though she barely looks like herself these days, even though she allegedly sought the assistance of the Hollywood Diet Doctors for rapid thinnification, even though she"s the daughter of a creepy Papa Pimp, I have to tell you… I"m impressed. Full Story

Thursday, September 21, 2006
Dear gossips, So according to Splash News Angelina and Brad dropped $400K on Banksy the other day after attending his art show last week, laying claim to several pieces including a bust with a bullet hole in the forehead and a sketch of what looks to be the Pitts themselves picnicing in the jungle being observed by tribesfolk. Back in the real world, I arrived home on Sunday to an early birthday present: a beautiful painting in aggressive crimson accessorised dramatically by long stem red roses and a spotless apartment. Do you think Brad Pitt cleans the house? And do you think Brad Pitt plays video games? Because along with the art gift came a self gift…a brand new Xbox 360 to celebrate another season of the NY Jets sucking ass. His favourite team and Madden Football obsessively for 2 weeks, no conversation, no marriage quality time, until he finally comes up for air. Angelina gets a man on a motorcyle, I get a man on a game console, and a free pass from having babies. I"m thinkin" I"m ahead…you? In today"s issue: Britney cuts corners, Britney cuts fat, the philanthropic Pitts, the helpless Jessica Simpson, the raging Renee, speaking up for Gwynnie, pro-love for supermodel sag, and the Lilo infects the Cam.

Jessica Simpson: two shades, same tranny

September 21, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at September 21, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At the premiere and afterparty for Employee of the Month. Enough to make you shudder. Clearly, this girl will NEVER get it right. Thing is, I like the red dress. On Rachel Bilson, even Sarah Jessica Parker, with a different pair of shoes, no straps running up the stumpy calves, maybe even a different colour, the ensemble would have been a knockout hit. Full Story

Defending Madge

September 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at September 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Is it really that bad? I don"t think it"s bad at all. In fact, I actually think it"s chic, a nice change, way better than tacky ass, long curly weaves (Jessica Alba), way better than soccer mom bobs (Jessica Simpson), and much much better than soap opera helmets sprayed on with no movement (Eva Longoria). Full Story

Jessica Simpson: smart move #1

September 8, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at September 8, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Well well. Looks like she"s not completely hopeless after all. And it also looks like she might have taken that my bit of advice to heart from the other day: "Time for a new team, honey. Starting with the father. In fact, get rid of ALL the men in your life and give Stephen Huvane call. That man has done wonders with mediocrity in the name of Aniston…can you imagine what he’d do with you???" Full text here Full Story

Jessica’s Downward Spiral

September 7, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at September 7, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’d say it’s time for an emergency Simpson Summit, wouldn’t you? I mean at this point, even I’m feeling a little sorry for the poor little twat. And if the bleeding doesn’t stop, I fear we might have another Hollywood breakdown on our hands. Let’s consider her recent string of humiliations, in no particular order, shall we? - Nick finds a girlfriend. Full Story

The Daily Hairapy: Jessica Simpson

September 6, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at September 6, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

If you"re going to chew me out for selling out, read this first, because selling out for Sunsilk once every few weeks pays for my bitch and it pays for gaygays and it pays for snarky smut- so will you forgive and excuse it and help a girl out? And will you direct your ire instead at Jessica Simpson? What gives this girl the right to sell extensions? To sell hair??? Would you want hair like this??? It"s poofy and flat in all the wrong places, it"s Sally Field 30 years too young, it"s natural, it"s white trash bob, it"s tacky ass crap, and it Does. Full Story