Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

But why not Porny?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 27, 2011 13:29:47 April 27, 2011 13:29:47

Jessica Simpson lived up to my nickname for her last night at the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood Style Issue party in LA. Looks like a fluffer was hired to jerk off her hair. And she was honoured with the “Style Icon” award. Sure. In fairness, this isn’t the worst she’s ever looked. Full Story

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Porny confuses Tongues & Necks

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2011 06:48:20 April 18, 2011 06:48:20

There was an article that appeared on People.com late Friday. Porny talked to the magazine about her wedding dress, what she’s looking for, what she has in mind. Oh la. Apparently Porny does NOT want to look “top heavy” (since when???) and as such, is considering something with a v-neck or a scoop neck. Full Story

Porny and the First Lady

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 14, 2011 09:46:15 April 14, 2011 09:46:15

Jessica Simpson was in Denver last night performing for military families at Coors Field. The First Lady Michelle Obama invited Porny to join the event, one of many that Mrs Obama and Dr Jill Biden are hosting across the country saluting US service personnel. How much do you love that Jessica’s the supposed Hollywood celebrity and both the First Lady and Dr Biden are better dressed than she is? In fairness to Porny though, what she chose for this occasion is appropriate and proportionate. Full Story

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Porny time in Paris

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2011 14:21:34 March 9, 2011 14:21:34

Porny and her KFed are in Paris. The photo agency is trying to tell me it’s all romantic and sh-t. Paris is indeed romantic. Paris was probably, so far, the best trip Jacek and I have ever taken. It was London first, then Paris, then the South of France, then Poland. And in Paris, walking everywhere, or taking the metro, and eating constantly, and drinking wine, and seeing everything, and he loved the Eiffel Tower so much, especially at night when it lights up – yeah we’re cheesy gross tourists – it was full on bliss all the time, every single day. Full Story

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Porny to judge?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2011 07:47:17 March 4, 2011 07:47:17

Porny was in New York last night with her freeloader and they went to dinner at a vegan restaurant, all part of her “get fit” plan as she’s supposedly working out 4 days a week for 75 minutes each time with the Tracy Anderson Method. Porny however denies that her motivation is a wedding or, for that matter, a new tv show: "Yes, I am working out, but why is that worth any sorta press? I always take care of myself. Full Story

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Porny's wedding mission

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2011 09:30:00 February 23, 2011 09:30:00

Why does Porny hate the gym? Well, I can't say I love the gym. The gym isn't the funnest place ever. For Porny though, the gym sucks extra hard because, essentially, this is a lazy person with a lazy mind. If she had it her way, she'd sit on the couch and fart all day. Porny probably also isn't into the gym because it appears that her golddigger isn't going with her. Full Story

Can Porny look like GOOPy?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 18, 2011 10:00:00 February 18, 2011 10:00:00

Porny’s getting married this year. So she’s trying to lean out, get into her dress. Her last trainer was Harley Pasternak. But Harley’s connected to John Mayer. And besides, Porny wants to look like GOOP. Gwyneth’s body is aspirational? That’s actually a business plan. Full Story

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Rough night, Porners?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 25, 2011 09:00:49 January 25, 2011 09:00:49

Porny Jessica Simpson took her freeloader out for dinner last night. They went to Katsuya. Too much sake? He had to hold on to her to make sure she didn’t bail on those heels. But that is a crazy weave, non? And it’s actually not that bad either, comparatively speaking. Hers for example is far superior to Lilo’s and Fried Chicken Britney’s. Full Story

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Dumb Words

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 24, 2011 09:55:56 January 24, 2011 09:55:56

My Porny, ONCE AGAIN, took to Twitter to express gratitude that Eric Johnson has agreed to live off her fortune. The other day, Jacek called me Toronto from Vancouver to get me to call our regular sushi place to order him takeout. It's because I talk to the staff in Chinese and he thinks they pack the rolls better as a result. Full Story

New Year, Same Porny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 3, 2011 07:19:18 January 3, 2011 07:19:18

When I saw these photos of my Porny on New Year’s Eve in Aspen with her golddigging future husband, I wondered whether or not I knew the meaning of real, profound love. The kind real, profound love that moves one to abandon all senses, especially sight, and waddle out of the house in reindeer tights like I don’t give a f-ck. Full Story

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