Jock Smut Articles

Sports related gossip, news, photos, and video.

What’s wrong Jessie?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2009 08:01:03 February 6, 2009 08:01:03

Let me help! TMZ is reporting that during a performance last night in Grand Rapids, Michigan, our Porny supposedly exhibited signs of emotional distress. According to locals, one of the indications was that she forgot the lyrics to her own song Come On Over. Full Story

Help me understand

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 4, 2009 09:09:08 February 4, 2009 09:09:08

In some circles, this man is known as a heartthrob. A loin wizard. A headboard banger. A quiver master. Him? Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United, seen here yesterday in Cheshire. Like, I get it. Things are different in Euro. More fashion forward and also more open to cheese. I get it. But this dude. Full Story

23 year old smokes weed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2009 06:15:35 February 2, 2009 06:15:35

Nothing newsworthy about that. Except the 23 year old in question is a golden boy who sells cereal. And cars. And baby bottles. And is the poster boy for perfection attached to millions of dollars in endorsements catered to the MiniVan Majority. They don’t mind so much that he goes to Vegas and shoves his head in between the breasts of some nasty skank. Full Story

Two games, two goals, two teams

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 29, 2009 07:06:54 January 29, 2009 07:06:54

David Beckham is loving Milan. And right now Milan is loving David Beckham. He scored on the weekend and he scored again yesterday – two goals, two games, and now a controversy mounting… two teams. As you know, Becks is on loan to AC Milan from the LA Galaxy for two months. He has admitted that he’s considering staying Full Story

View All 11 Photos

The First Couple of Fail

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2009 11:45:10 January 27, 2009 11:45:10

There is no hate-on for Porny. Quite the opposite actually. Over time, my black ass heart has opened for Jessica Simpson out of sheer pity. She doesn’t mean unwell. She’s not poorly intentioned. But she was raised, well, you know, by a dude who freely talks about her D cups. And without friends, without girls like us, she really never had a chance to be a girl like us. Full Story

Pretty soon we'll stop caring

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 22, 2009 09:55:34 January 22, 2009 09:55:34

Am on Oscar press duty at the moment so blogging from blackberry - sorry for rushed text. So last week People reported Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady got engaged. If People says it it has to be true right? Well now she's given an intv in Brasil denying the report. Oh la. This again. Are they or aren't they? G, just let it be! Am hearing though that People was accurate and that Gisele is only backtracking because of disappointment at home that she should have given confirmation there instead of in America. Full Story

Mrs Brady-to-be

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2009 06:56:57 January 20, 2009 06:56:57

Gisele went home to Brazil the other day, walked the runway at Sao Paolo fashion week. Not exactly tops on Anna Wintour’s radar but G is nothing if not loyal though she’d probably never wear those jeans off the catwalk. The newly engaged Gisele would not comment on her wedding but her ass said it all to me: she’s marrying Tom Brady. Full Story

Manslinger back to athletes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 12, 2009 12:27:00 January 12, 2009 12:27:00

I tingled to this article earlier about Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez. Ew. Like I said with Madonna, there’s nothing about that whiny bitch that says he must be mounted. Adam Scott on the other hand… Oh la. Full Story

The wedding I would crash

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 12, 2009 12:00:15 January 12, 2009 12:00:15

Definitely Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen. And this time it’s official. Because People says so, which means they’ve totally sanctioned the message. According to the magazine, he proposed on Friday with a diamond solitaire. Full Story

Porny so happy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 7, 2009 16:34:07 January 7, 2009 16:34:07

As her friend, I’m happy for her. Like the good friend vibes are working, you know? Just because we don’t speak, doesn’t mean the energy isn’t there. Celebrities talk about “energy” all the time. We’ve all been sending her the true friend energy, right? The energy to avoid high waisted pants. Full Story

Common-law Cowboy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 6, 2009 12:00:29 January 6, 2009 12:00:29

Tony Romo is very, very serious about Jessica Simpson. Because he’s implying that she’s much more than just a girlfriend. The message is that she’s almost a wife. Like a common-law wife, wifely enough to be included in the 2008 Cowboys Family Cookbook presented by “the wives of the Dallas Cowboys”. Full Story