It’s making my life. A generation that hooks up, breaks up, and throws down on the internet, over iphones, over Facebook! It’s f-cking amazing! Why wasn’t I born in 1990? Gah!
So Joe Jonas dumps Taylor Swift. She claims it was a 27 second phone call. And then she accuses him this week of cheating on her with Camilla Belle.
Now Joe Jonas is answering back. Online of course! Because he wants to make sure his fans aren’t upset.
"Several things I will state with all my heart. I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. “
Where would “the heart” have moved? Did “the heart” go to India on a spiritual journey? Why the f-ck do people keep writing like this???
“Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me. "For those who have expressed concern over the '27 second' phone call, I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk.
Anytime you are in a relationship for any length of time there are going to be issues. Sometimes they resolve. Other times they lead to a change of heart. This was the case recently.
I wish the best for the other person, but could not sit back any longer and leave our fans with a wrong impression of the truth. Hope this helps enlighten a little.”
You’re damn right I’m enlightened. Jon Favreau’s phrasing has nothing on a Jonas.
And the “uncool” Triangle has nothing on the teens. The teens are taking smut to an entirely new level.
As for whether or not Joe the vagina virgin maybe gaybe is telling the truth – heard from a reader yesterday who was present at the Jonas Brothers’ visit to MuchMusic earlier this year when he was still attached to Taylor. Joe was asked at the time if he had a crush on anyone.
But really, in situations such as these, the truth doesn’t matter. What matters is that Joe is publicly called Taylor a liar. And if we know Taylor, Taylor will answer. And soon. And she’ll do it loudly. This time she might even release some photos.
These teens are killing it.