Which one is the Fantasy Girl?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 09:51:48 May 20, 2009 09:51:48

Porny Simpson, I think. John knew it. He had Shame Face about nailing her but he couldn’t help himself.

Say what you will about her but it’s certain: there are many men out there who jerk off to Jessica Simpson. I’ve never met one however who jerks off to Jennifer Aniston.

So if she is who he means, John Mayer should be checking himself.

What now?

Oh Douche. He’s tweeting again. About his personal life. We went 2 days without caring about him so he had to put it out there. On Twitter, where else?

New ramblings about his love life:

I love how some dudes hate me for dating their fantasy girl, as if they were going to if I hadn't. Let's hammer this out today. Long before "douches" and "famewhores" there were these people called "showbiz types. Showbiz types" are people who grew up talking to themselves alone in a room for hours until they found some sort of outlet. Once they found that outlet, everything fell into place, except for the fact that they still never worked out why they still talk so much. So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation's tapestry. I'm a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!! (of 1,090,466, seventeen stand and applaud wildly) That was interesting...I'm off to work. Enjoy the rest of your day.

He’s f-cking amazing. I love him. I appreciate him. John Mayer pees in colour.

And he also reads everything written about him on the internets. So Douchey – because I know you’ll get this – you and Megan Fox…what’s taking so long?

This is John Mayer at the Laker game last night.

Photos from Zodiac/Fapian/Splashnewsonline.com and Wenn.com

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