Please. Shut. Your. Ass.

March 28, 2008 09:40:00 Posted at March 28, 2008 09:40:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Well… at the very least, it’s an admission that he really does google himself. Obsessively.

John Mayer – again taking to his blog with a long winded manifesto about…

Aspiring to more?
Finding meaning in life?

Sure. That’s what he says it’s about.

But at the end of the day, what it IS about is what it’s always about…


He’s the guy who loves hearing himself talk. Who loves hearing himself think. Who apparently cannot think in private. Who claims to be burdened by a fragile ego and in attempting to account for this fragile ego decides to broadcast his insecurities to the world in a way that only results in feeding his fragile ego.

Reading his blog, listening to him “emote”… it’s like an episode of Oprah. Unoriginal sentiments shot with a very flattering camera and blown out of proportion by a preacher pretending to be a talk show host and voila! All of a sudden people are sh*tting themselves in the aisles, nodding their heads in unison, and spending $30 on a new book about positive thinking.

No doubt there will be people reading John’s blog today who are, like, so totally relating to the profundity of his statements. Because we all need to be told by a douchy pop star how to be informed, how to care more, how to love more, how to be kind, and how to be complete.

Bitch… please!!!

If I were dating John Mayer I’d totally be the dude in the relationship, you know? Like we’d be at dinner, with him wanting to talk interminably about “feelings” and this would be me:

Are you done yet? When can we f&ck?

Click here for his blog... if you can stand it.

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