Douchebag Hates Ebola

February 12, 2008 08:31:03 Posted at February 12, 2008 08:31:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Please welcome John Mayer onto the Freebie Five. Not because he was the hotness on stage with Alicia Keys at the Grammys, even though he did indeed fire up the loins the way he grooved to the beat with his hair and his pants (click here for the clip), but because after the Grammys, he found himself at a party with none other than Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton, who was hellbent on infecting him. And amazingly enough, John managed to escape.

Ebola practically threw her repertoire at him, dancing suggestively, hiking up her skirt, licking her lips… all to no avail. And when she tried to invite him into her booth, patting the seat next to her, he sat down briefly, like literally a second, before blowing her off and saving his career.

John Mayer deserves to be on the Freebie 5.

And Paris Hilton deserves to be locked up, stepped on, and skinned. SKINNED.

So the f&cking twat adopts a cat, calling him Prada (ROSSUM!) last year just before Rocky Delgadillo threw her in jail. Oh halcyon days.

In January, Ebola took Prada in to get neutered and then LEFT HIM at the shelter. It’s now been two weeks and Paris still hasn’t picked him up so the woman Kris Kelly who runs the facility where Prada was taken for his procedure has been calling Ebola to find out what’s up.

Not surprisingly, Ebola has been avoiding her.

Hilton’s reps say Kris Kelly is just another publicity whore trying to stir up attention. But they also can’t deny that Prada is STILL at the shelter and was supposed to be passed off to a Hilton staffer and returned home eventually. This has not happened. Over two weeks and no one has come for Prada.

It doesn’t take TWO F&CKING WEEKS to neuter a cat! In fact, most of the time, they can go home right away. Marcus was a bit groggy afterwards but mostly he was grumpy because of this dorky cone he had to wear around his head while his sores were healing.

Poor Prada however is stuck in a shelter, cursed with the fate of being adopted by an animal abuser, stuck in limbo after having his balls cut off.

And no sympathy for Kris Kelly either. Why in ass would you let Paris Hilton adopt one of your animals?

Here’s Ebola yesterday, shopping while that cat sits and waits to be loved.

Why isn’t PETA all over this piece of sh*t???

PS. This is Marcus taken five minutes ago after I asked him if he wanted to go outside to do his business. Clearly, he"s not interested in anything but sleep. Only thing is - the last time he went out was 14 hours ago. Lazy sh*t.



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