John Mayer Gossip

John Mayer gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

The Doucheness of John’s Lyrics

March 7, 2008 08:40:00 Posted at March 7, 2008 08:40:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Every songwriter has their own process. When you’re a douchebag and a new famewhore, you blast your creative process out on your blog. If you’re John Mayer you go a step further and you file it under the guise of the esoteric when in reality, it’s not so much the expression of art but rather the exploitation of it. Full Story

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Dear Gossips,

NYC yesterday at Cosmopolitan’s Fun Fearless Male Awards – Dane Cook, Tony Romo, and John Mayer all on the list of seven Fun Fearless Males and at one time or another attached to Jessica Simpson. Whatever.

You know what’s worse? What’s worse is being named a “Fun Fearless Male” and getting an award for it. To me that kind of label sounds like a ball shrinker. Like the only logical dot dot dot at the end of Fun and Fearless would be Limp and Lame. At the very least they could use the word “Man”, non?

And why is Dane Cook still relevant? Are Fun Fearless Males supposed to look this bad in pants??? And are they supposed to have horrible hair? Because Tony Romo has horrible hair. Like hairplug hair. Not sweet.

Tuesday – am blogging all day, remember to refresh!

Yours in gossip,


PS. Oscar contest winner still has not claimed. You will forfeit in 5 days and there are many runners-up…

PPS. Beyonce and Rihanna did not complain about the Rolls in the wrong colour.

PPPS. Matthew McConaughey is not a primadonna boy bitch. Neither is Leonardo DiCaprio.

Douchebag Hates Ebola

February 12, 2008 08:31:03 Posted at February 12, 2008 08:31:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Please welcome John Mayer onto the Freebie Five. Not because he was the hotness on stage with Alicia Keys at the Grammys, even though he did indeed fire up the loins the way he grooved to the beat with his hair and his pants (click here for the clip Full Story

Best Grammy Douchebag: John Mayer

February 11, 2008 12:19:28 Posted at February 11, 2008 12:19:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

OK so John Mayer was kinda hot with Alicia Keys with his hair all messy sexy, in his jacket and wearing the hell out of his jeans. He’s a limp dick when he’s performing his own limp dick music, but on the strength of Alicia’s sounds, I admit…the loins did quiver. Not enough to let him piss on me in the shower, but definitely just a shower. Full Story

Good Hair and Happy

January 31, 2008 08:05:56 Posted at January 31, 2008 08:05:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Can you believe Jessica Simpson’s main gay Ken Paves actually managed to make her hair look decent? Check out Jess in New York last night, absolutely glowing with no sign of tacky weave. And that’s a cute outfit too. Romo has a better effect on her than she does on him, non? Professionally, that is. Full Story

Pro Jess & Romo

January 29, 2008 08:23:42 Posted at January 29, 2008 08:23:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s not Jess and John Mayer for me. Call me Cruise but this time I’m all over it. I am all over Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. Because Jess and Tony make sense. Total sense. Just look at them! Last night leaving The Key Club on the Sunset Strip after a boozy evening, she’s a tacky cheeseball as usual, and with his open shirt and hair plug hairstyle, Tony is half a Guido. Full Story

Bootycalling on his Blog

January 16, 2008 06:00:23 Posted at January 16, 2008 06:00:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hate to gloat but… It was reported last week that John Mayer the pissing douche was on the loose, having split from Minka Kelly. This is what I wrote at the time: And now that Jessica Simpson is all over Tony Romo, maybe John is feeling a little slighted that it only took her 6 months to get over him. Full Story

Pissing Douche on the Loose

January 9, 2008 13:54:12 Posted at January 9, 2008 13:54:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer is single again! According to People, after dating FNL’s Minka Kelly for a few months, the two have now broken up. Looks like Minka came to her senses. How do you go from Taylor Kitsch dripping sweat all over you to John Mayer pulling out his pee and showering you with his piss? Actually…John Mayer seems like that guy who dumps you and then calls you again when he finds out you’re dating someone else. Full Story

They Hate Jess, They Love Nick

December 21, 2007 12:07:12 Posted at December 21, 2007 12:07:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s been two years since their split but still Nick Lachey is coming out on top. His album has outsold hers, he has a steady girlfriend who dresses like a tacky pageant queen with a slamming body doesn’t pee on him and loves to do it in public and hasn’t walked out on him, and somehow he’s managed to rally support from the MiniVan Majority, who just voted for his choir, making him the first celebrity winner of Clash of the Choirs, a viewer vote-based contest, with $250,000 going to the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Centre. Full Story

John Mayer ShameFace: Best of 2007

December 12, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at December 12, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

By the end of it, when it actually ended, I admit… I was kinda sad. Too many fun smutty moments came from their relationship and the thought of Jess’s cheap ass weave getting urinated on by John Mayer was just too good. But what should never have been could never have lasted. One look at them while they were together makes it plainly obvious: John was ashamed the entire time. Full Story