Johnny in Rio

September 24, 2015 15:27:31 Posted at September 24, 2015 15:27:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s that time again. Our weekly appointment with embarrassment for Johnny Depp. Johnny is in Rio to perform at the Rock In Rio Rock City show tonight with Alice Cooper, Joe Perry, Duff McKagan, and Bruce Witkin. They call themselves The Hollywood Vampires. Um, ok, DAD.

But also, The Hollywood Vampires, it’s so fitting, isn’t it? Fitting of the kind of “desperate to stay cool” that Johnny Depp reeks of these days? I mean… look at him. Look at him walking around in these clothes. In dirty pants that are supposed to mean he doesn’t care, even though, since it takes more than 5 seconds to layer yourself like this, with all that embellishment, it’s quite obvious that he does care. I can smell how much he cares.

Is caring a bad thing? Of course not. Everyone should care. It’s what he cares about that’s so hilarious: I’m Johnny Depp, and I want you to know I’m a proper rocker. Which is news to the entire world.



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