There are barnacles on your SAG dress, Julianna Margulies
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Dresses that look like living things, organisms, freak me out. Last time it happened was when Heidi Klum wore lettuce at the Emmys. This, I realise, is not a universal phobia. But me, I don’t like imagining things growing on clothing. Heidi’s dress looked like it could breed. Same goes for Julianna Margulies’s gown last night at the SAGs. Like barnacles, right? We live by the beach. A rocky beach. My dogs like to scrape the barnacles off the rocks and eat them. This is all I see on Julianna’s Calvin Klein: my dogs pawing at the barnacle beads until they fall off and can be chewed. For protein.
And besides, even without the biology, it’s really not all that interesting either. People keep saying - oh she’ll be one to watch on the carpet and I keep looking around asking, since when? And why? Did I miss the movement to make her style happen?