Justin Bieber’s balls dropped
That’s what his manager Scooter Braun told Billboard about the new Christmas album Under The Mistletoe which, it’s weird because I’m hitting the beach this weekend but all I’ve been listening to are his holiday jams. Let me come back to this in a minute. We need to finish up on Bieber’s balls. Said Braun:
“Vocally, (Justin’s) balls have dropped.” This is his way of explaining that Bieber’s music is evolving and that his voice is deepening, something that could have been a problem with Mariah Carey who agreed to duet with him on All I Want For Christmas Is You but only if he sang it in her original key. That wasn’t an issue last year. It was certainly an issue when they recorded it this year since, you know, Bieber has a proper girlfriend now and they are totally doing it.
As I have noted repeatedly, this zygotic obsession happened only when Bieber started beach-romancing Selena Gomez and taking her to the local chicken shack. Since then... I can’t stop. None of us can stop. Most of the emails I exchange with my etalk colleagues, Sasha and several others, consist of Bieber talk. And we are all grown like OLD grown. Today it’s especially intense because in advance of the November 1 release of Under the Mistletoe, they’ve made two of the more high profile collaborations available: Bieber and Mimi and also Bieber and Busta Rhymes.
Shawty Mane is rapping again.
It’s awesome. And hilarious. And ridiculous. And actually not the worst you’ve ever heard and in fact, it’s irresistibly catchy. Sasha’s already declared that she’s buying the album. Tasha Lynn has been listening to Drummer Boy on repeat and told me that, “when JB raps, I basically cream my pants”. Me I can’t wait to see what he gets Selena for Christmas. There HAS to be a sleigh ride, oh my GOD.
As for whether or not this Bieber sh-t is legit -- his marketing team sure is and goddamn they are smart. Proceeds from Under the Mistletoe are going to charity. In the meantime they’ve used this vehicle to showcase what they’re calling his versatility. He goes R&B, he goes country, he co-wrote 6 of the tracks, and of course his voice appears to still be intact. It’s a f-cking machine. It’s gone beyond Jonas now, and there’s no sign of it ending at least in the next 12 months.
But will he grow...?
I don’t think it goes past 20 if he can’t get tall(er) and it’s the one thing they can’t control.
Click here for more from Bieber in Billboard. And below...
Before you blow air out your teeth and dismiss this since snark is always the default position, just listen. And then you can sh-t on it on principle because you won’t admit your foot was tapping.