Despite mounting evidence to the contrary, I’ve been a little gunshy on pronouncing the death of Cam and Justin Timberlake…especially since to date there has been nothing in the way of reliable official confirmation.
Finally though…finally I believe. Finally there’s a telltale sign, an mistakable indication of separation I can totally put my faith in: not Scarlett’s delectable breasts or even Kate Hudson’s cute button bottom but something much more reliable, steeped in centuries of culture and tradition…
It is the Green Hat.
Cam was wearing The Green Hat.
In Colorado, on vacay with her family, the first photos we’ve seen after Christmas - there it is, perched atop her brown locks, for My People it’s pretty much a Flag of Infidelity: we Chinese never wear green hats. Because wearing a green hat means you’ve been chumped.
Cam was wearing a green hat, Cam has clearly been cuckolded….kind of ironic actually considering up until a few months ago, she was considered the manly man dating the Little Boy Pip.
To be cheated on is bad enough. But cheated on by an adolescent falsetto-dandy still waiting for his balls to drop?
Shame, shame, shame.
And yet lucky Cam too. Because since Cam is no longer Hermy Cam, New Glam Cam deserves another man. A grown man. A bonafide, steak eating, Man’s Man who can chop wood and grunt and fart and f&ck right along with her.
Cam and Matthew McConaughey? Greasy monkey perfection?
Love, love, love.