Pipsqueak: someone new to blame

April 11, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 11, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Let’s recap, shall we?

Little Pip performed at the Grammys this year. The ratings for the show were solid. Which, really, when you think about it, is the sole purpose for inviting acts that can draw a crowd and make the event as stellar as it can be. But still…he said he felt used. He said he regretted the deal. And same goes for McDonalds. In a recent interview with GQ, he says they used him too. That their market share went up because of him, because the golden arches were blessed by his golden baby voice, and he’s the greatest and everything he touches turns to platinum and he just won’t be exploited no’ mo’, y’hear!?!?

Thing is, the Grammys and McDonald’s might have been willing to take his tantrums up the ass…but what about Madonna? As in her Madgesty?

Word is Justin Timberlake is writing tracks for her new album, in London to get started, and given that he’s obviously very very talented, there’s no doubt the collaboration will be a huge success.

But what then?

What if it does become a huge huge huge unprecedented hit? What if Madonna wins Grammys? What if Madonna outsells everyone?

Will the petulant little Pipsqueak start whining yet again? Will he swagger and boast about how his Midas Touch blessed Madonna? Will he accuse her of using him? Will he lock himself in the studio and stomp his feet?

F*ck I hope so.

Because if there’s one bitch you don’t mess with, it’s Madonna. Girl has to swallow her balls enough as it is inside her own house, so when she steps out, we all know she cracks that whip. And she cracks it hard. And she’s not kind to baby boys with a dozen cars and a couple of huge mansions who wail and complain when there are other needy baby boys waiting to be adopted in Africa.

Pray Goddess he tries his Pippy sh-t with Madge. Because I can’t wait to see her bitch slap him back to Disneyland.

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