Sit DOWN Justin Timberlake
Seriously … sit your Pip ass DOWN!
I call it Small Ball Syndrome. Not unlike Napoleon Syndrome. You know how they say short dudes overcompensate for their vertical challenges by going overboard on toughness and aggression?
Well since Pipsqueak’s balls have only partially dropped, it’s like he’s trying to make up for his testicular deficit by swinging a big stick around – a stick wielded not by him but by his legal team. Because his little squeal isn’t intimidating in the least.
So Justin Timberlake is currently on promo for the Love Guru. All journalists on the junket apparently had to sign some kind of contract, limiting their ability to report on the experience, promising not to divulge anything personal or private, and pledging to destroy materials that have not been approved.
You’ll recall, Angelina Jolie tried to pull this sh*t last year and was publicly rebuked for it – she later blamed an overzealous lawyer and then told Jon Stewart she would never try to curb a reporter’s right to write anything.
Pipsqueak JT on the other hand…well his people feel this was a necessary move. Because he has earned his place on talent alone, right? Because Justin Timberlake would have arrived even if not for the cute curls on his head, even if not for the teenybops wanting to be his girlfriend, even if he hadn’t been Britney’s boyfriend, even if he wasn’t a constant fixture in the tabloids…
Not even Madonna resorts to this f&ckery. Not. Even. Madonna.
Click here to see the contract.
The Love Guru goes head to head against Get Smart on June 20th. It’s shaping up to be a major pissing match.
Hopefully Get Smart won’t be a flop. Let’s start pimping Get Smart.