The worst song gets nominated

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 24, 2017 21:37:10 January 24, 2017 21:37:10

This was not unexpected. I mean, we all knew it was going to happen. We’ve been bracing ourselves for  it to happen for weeks now, not that that takes away any of the ugh, f-ck, why of the situation. Justin Timberlake has been nominated for an Oscar for his song Can’t Stop The Feeling from Trolls. You know, the song that was named the Worst Song of 2016. That one? Yes. That one.

It wasn’t just TIME Magazine that named it the worst. Esquire did too. You get the point.

So now JT gets to walk around calling himself an Oscar nominee. The one blessing from all of this sh-t is that he doesn’t get to call himself an Oscar nominee for ACTING. Because… HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

Still. This guy, one of the most ME guys in the business, with the exception of maybe Tom Hiddleston at the Golden Globes, will now never stop telling you his feelings about being nominated for an Oscar. The ME of Justin Timberlake was already Kong-sized. Today it grew to a planet. JT will be performing at the Oscars. So start meditating now. Or stock up on the weed. You will need it. He’s coming at you hard. He’s already started on social media. 

Oh f-ck off. As if he cares about ALL nominees. When has he ever cared? DID HE CARE ABOUT JANET????????????????????????????? #NeverForget

As for his chances, well, La La Land is the frontrunner. The Academy likes to reward in bunches. But, unfortunately, I wouldn’t count JT out. I was talking to a friend the other day. He has 3 young children. I was bitching about this goddamn song. He’s like, “Oh, my kids love it. They can’t get enough of it”. And then I thought about those old f-cks in the Academy. And the name recognition. Even they’ve heard of Justin Timberlake. “My granddaughter loves that guy!” In their minds, a vote for JT might be a vote by an old f-ck trying to be cool for his grandkids.

I’ll be over here, practising witchcraft with Duana. Because Lin-Manuel Miranda needs a miracle.


Previous Article Next Article