Settling for Tori over Reese?

April 4, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 4, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Now you know I worship Janice Min… WORSHIP.

But after getting beaten by People for the Cruise and Pitt photo opps, Janice had to secure what she could. Two straight weeks of killer covers, first exposing the Hollywood drug problem followed by the super smutty attack on Angelina Jolie last week…and now this???

How do you explain this???

Well, to tell you the truth, I guess I don’t blame her. She’s probably being pressured to get her exclusives somehow, no matter how D List, and every editrix has to wheel and deal.

Which is why as far as I’m concerned it’s the only reason why she’d throw Reese and Jake on the inside and NOT slap it on the front.

Are they really dating? Told you exclusively last week , click here for a refresher he’s been seen driving out of her compound, too stealth for the pappies because he keeps changing cars.

So I’d say at this point … yes, believe it.

Which poses a dilemma for those who believe he’s gay, doesn’t it? For the record, as you know, I’ve maintained for a long time that he isn’t. But there are those who are adamant simply because of Toothy Tile.

So now for those the question becomes: if he’s gay, doesn’t that make her a beard? And if it does make her a beard, doesn’t it naturally follow that Reese Witherspoon is a fraud? And if Reese is a fraud, what else is she lying about?

Complicated, non? And really…unnecessarily so. Again, from what I hear, Jake Gyllenhaal ain’t gay.

PS. You think KFed Jr is pissed that he didn"t make the cut? Bet you she had to pay that famewhore 10 grand just to stop whining about it.


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