KFed Gossip

Kevin Federline gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Britney spawns fourth Federline?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 8, 2006 12:00:00 September 8, 2006 12:00:00

UPDATE: no baby, just a gordita. As of press time (2:30 am EST) word on the street is that Britney Spears is about to or already has delivered her 2nd child. Hopefully this time they’ll name it what I had originally suggested: Kevtwan LaBritnius Federline – has a nice ring to it, non? E! News reported it first, that Britney was in hospital with ten thousand pappies camped outside. Full Story

Most Useless Piece of Sh*t: Kevin Federline

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2006 12:00:00 September 1, 2006 12:00:00

I was so thrilled to see Britney, she really really looked amazing. And then dirtbag had to come in the shot and soil the experience. Did you see him? Did you see the flippant look on his face as he was announcing Beyonce’s win? Beyonce. Accomplished on her own and also Jay Z"s girlfriend. Jay Z, who should be hero worshipped by that fool! Instead, he played like it was beneath him, like opening that envelope was distasteful, like the Sony Music contract Full Story

Kevin Federline Fame Transfusion

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 31, 2006 12:00:00 August 31, 2006 12:00:00

Am a firm believer in the concept that just as you can give someone your blood, you can also give someone your fame. Hence fame transfusion, apparently what Britney Spears is willing to do for her golddigging jerkoff of a good for nothin" husband. After all, what"s a little professional sharing when your eggs are already involved? In other words, not a stretch on that front. Full Story

Monday, August 21, 2006 Dear gossips, I was 12 when I was first introduced to Johnny Depp. Two decades of devotion, two decades spent admiring his ascent from bubble gum appeal to universal appeal, across sexes, across ages, across acting genres, and at 43…only getting better. In other words: bad news for the GMD. Because never mind the gaygay gossip, never mind the missing child, never mind the Katie hypnosis…never mind all that. Tom Cruise’s biggest problem is Johnny Depp – Johnny Depp owns the box office, Johnny Depp owns Teen Choice, Johnny Depp owns Ladies Choice, Queer Choice, and above all, Johnny Depp owns Hollywood. Suck on that TomTom. In today’s post-awards issue: fashion assy and fashion classy; Lindsay’s new protégé; smelling Beckham; admiring Katie; celebrating KFed; and reassurance about the Family Pitt.

Teen Choice 2006: Best & Worst

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 21, 2006 12:00:00 August 21, 2006 12:00:00

I have to tell you…I was worried. I was worried that Kevin would actually be good. I was worried that I’d have to be objective and grudgingly write my approval. Like the time Paris Hilton came out with a decent, cute, vocally engineered song and we all had to admit secretly or otherwise that it was actually quite palatable? Remember that? And don’t lie. Full Story

Britney Spears & the power of packaging

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 7, 2006 12:00:00 August 7, 2006 12:00:00

Have you seen this??? Taken during the inaugural summer of Federline love, while Britney still had a cute body and a loyal fanbase, it is a heartbreaking glimpse into the reverberating void that is her brain, and also illustrates perfectly why home videos are a publicist"s worst nightmare. Full Story

Kevin Federline: Hollywood NF

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 3, 2006 12:00:00 August 3, 2006 12:00:00

Necrotising Fasciitis. Otherwise known as flesh eating disease. And since the viral market has already been cornered by Paris Hilton"s Hollywood Ebola, it"s only right that Kfed lays claim to bacterial infections, seeing as his peculiar brand of degenerate filth has already irreversibly altered the pop tart of a generation. Full Story

Monday, July 31, 2006 Dear gossips, The dog days of gossip summer saved by Lilo and Pam. Thank Goddess for child star junkies and concrete tits! Do NOT however thank Goddess for the middle aged drunk ass Nazi otherwise known at Mel Gibson. If you need to be updated, the brilliant smuthounds over at TMZ have thoughtfully prepared a wonderfully detailed treatise on the situation that will get you all caught up. Disappointing? Yes. Shocking? Hell no. But parenting is paramount, haven’t you heard? And THAT, my fellow gossips, is why the future bodes dark for my dear Lindsay. In today’s issue: on Dina Lohan, on McCartney, celebrating Pam, supermodel nostalgia, a little gloating, the Federlines impress in Vegas, and some hot Harry to kickstart your week.

The Federlines: pro-love in Vegas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 31, 2006 12:00:00 July 31, 2006 12:00:00

Gossips – I fear I’m getting soft on you. I fear my bitch is slowly dying. Because for the life of me, I can’t come up with anything snarky to say about Britney and KFed. Perhaps it’s because it honestly couldn’t get any worse than the Dateline debacle…or maybe it’s because in light of Tori Spelling’s atrocities and the deplorable antics of Dina Lohan, Hilary Swank, and Heather Mills, I just don’t have any hate left over for Britney and her lowlife of a husband. Full Story

Team Kiki

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 19, 2006 12:00:00 July 19, 2006 12:00:00

If there’s a lesson to be learned from Tori Spelling’s homewrecking, mother slandering, and father neglecting, or from Hilary Swank’s despicable public outing of a recovering addict, it is that our Hollywood Hate Targets must be reassessed and re-plotted along the Hollywood Hate Spectrum. By putting Tori and Hilary and KFed on one side of the scale, it allows us to accurately measure all other celebrity flaws and misdemeanours against the heinous crimes of Spelling and Swank, thereby providing a definitive frame of reference and allowing us to allot our hate more effectively. Full Story

Britney, Kevin, and BooBoo play happy family

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2006 12:00:00 June 29, 2006 12:00:00

Us Weekly apparently stole these "private" photos of the Family Federline as we"ve never seen them. You will note that Britney looks curiously attractive here with no discernable foundation melting off her face or eyelashes that are threatening to take on a life of their own. Kevin is also remarkably "father" like, managing to keep his middle finger and his thug pout firmly at bay, which is why little Sean Preston probably looks so stunned in that one photo of him in the stroller. Full Story