The BitchBeating Fan goes missing

May 8, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 8, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s been a long, long time since we’ve seen our old friend – the one ubiquitous fan that adorned Le Karl’s hand. That trademark accessory used to snap his disapproval, his bitchbeating weapon against the most audacious of style transgressors. Too bad the Bitchbeating Fan was absent last night…because I would have loved to see Karl Lagerfeld use it on Jessica Simpson.

Having said that, seeing Karl in person, almost dead but not quite, sucking cheek like nobody’s business, tut tutting on that carpet like the King he is… I almost cried from the pleasure. At one point he was an arm’s length distance away from me. And you should see how this bitch walks. Like Louis XIV with one elbow tucked in and loosely dangling hand turned outwards, index finger pointing sideways, the other arm held close to the body grazing his bottom. Stand up right now and walk around like that. Now picture a middle aged man with a white ponytail, sunglasses, and a skin tight suit doing the same and you only get one tenth of the picture.

I’m telling you – Karl Lagerfeld is so drunk with his own fabulous, he’s his own special form of entertainment. I honestly can’t get enough.

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