7 pages of Karl gold

March 18, 2010 10:53:59 Posted at March 18, 2010 10:53:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You’ve been sending me snippets of Karl Lagerfeld’s Vice interview, but have you read the entire article? Wait. Don’t click just yet. Make sure you have time to savour. Make sure you won’t be interrupted by a phone call. Because he will make your head spin and your bitch sing. He is joy and amazingness and all the wonderful things.

But it’s not just his quotes. Karl’s answers in response to Bruce LaBruce’s questions must be taken as part of an entire package. This bitch is fangirling all over him. And trying to BE him. And the relationship that evolves over 7 pages becomes this weird mirror, Karl on the one side performing, and Bruce on the other mimicking, only we know Karl cannot be imitated, so the fumbling Bruce becomes a fascinating example of fontrum juxtaposed against Karl’s psychotic originality. A f-cking glorious, dishy, maddening mess.

Karl offers his thoughts on a variety of subjects ranging from communism to pedophilia. He thinks a porn star who sucks cock for a living is more talented than Sean Penn:

And I personally only like high-class escorts. I don’t like sleeping with people I really love. I don’t want to sleep with them because sex cannot last, but affection can last forever. I think this is healthy. And for the way the rich live, this is possible. But the other world, I think they need porn. I also think it’s much more difficult to perform in porn than to fake some emotion on the face as an actor.

Also, I would give up my life to be his letter carrier. Can you imagine? All day, he doesn’t pick up the phone. Instead, if he needs the answer to a quick question like “where should we have lunch today”, he spends several minutes writing it on letterhead, then sends a minion to deliver it somewhere in Paris.

People I’m really friendly with have faxes. Anna Wintour has one. We speak via fax. And in Paris I send letters to people. I have somebody to deliver letters all over every day.

Please. Who do I need to cut to receive a letter from Karl Lagerfeld?

And he has words for Angelina Jolie too:

(Being politically correct) means people talking about charities. Do it, be charitable, but don’t make a subject of conversation out of it because then you bore the world to death. It’s very unpleasant. But I don’t go out a lot so I’m not so exposed to people.

Speaking of not being politically correct or correct AT ALL... Um... this:

I was very much like a grown-up (when I was a child). I have photos of me as a child wearing a tie, and it’s the same as I am today. And of course I was very successful with pedophilia. I knew about it when I was ten. Well, I wouldn’t go that far (to say I used it consciously). It was impossible to touch me. I would run away and I would tell my mother about people she knew, like the brother of one of my sister’s husbands. Nothing happened, but my mother said, “You know, darling, it’s your fault. You see how you behave.”


But Karl says he doesn’t judge. He only judges when women are horrible and ugly and fat:

Everything one can do to see what kind of life one wants—what you like, what you don’t like, what’s OK for you. I understood quickly that there are a lot of things that are not for me but that I have nothing against. I have not one prejudice. I don’t judge things. I had an interview once with some German journalist—some horrible, ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists—maybe a week after—and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She had huge tits and a huge black bra, and she said to me, “It’s impolite; remove your glasses.” I said, “Do I ask you to remove your bra?” If I were pretentious I would say that I’m not an average person. But really, I know how that is.

And perhaps the best best BEST reason I’ve ever heard for not smoking. I really wish someone had told this to me:

There was a famous man who had written about flies and insects, and I’m like the one who watches the insects. I prefer to see how drugs work on others. And I cannot smoke cigarettes. I need my hands for something else. When I was 14 I wanted to smoke because my mother smoked like mad. I wanted to smoke to look grown-up. But my mother said, “You shouldn’t smoke. Your hands are not that beautiful and that shows when you smoke.”

See? It’s 7 pages of this. And these aren’t even the best highlights. Click here but only when you have the time to read the entire article. Don’t allow your time with him to be interrupted. Here’s Karl with Vanessa Paradis at the Chanel presentation for Paris Fashion Week last week.

Photos from Wenn.com

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