A blessing in disguise, don"t you think? Just before he was to jet off to Bali to marry Kate Moss, Pete Doherty - surprise! - was busted in London for possession and sent back to rehab. In other words - crisis averted, if only temporarily. I fear she really is crazy enough to do it - a permanent love stain cemented by marriage.
You know that expression, that whole Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind thing? That it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? Because you live and you learn and everything you go through makes you the well actualised, fulfilled person you eventually become?
Yeah, well, I don"t believe in that. And I don"t expect you to agree with me. Many of my friends certainly don"t, all those well regarded, well respected books certainly don"t, Oprah certainly doesn"t. And who would ever want to have a different opinion from Oprah?
Personally though? I just don"t live like that. I prefer to see my psychotic episodes for exactly what they were. Mistakes. Errors. Not lessons but transgressions, trangressions from which nothing can be gleaned.
So with the exception of maybe 3, one of whom I eventually married, I regret every guy I ever dated. I regret them all. Some of them were hideous, some of them were dumb as sh*t, some of them were pricks, and all of them were - again - mistakes. Didn"t learn a thing, don"t treasure a thing, wish I could do it all over again, reclaim the wasted emotion and time and youth, for the love of Gucci, absolutely the youth, especially my youthful ass, and the year and a half I spent pining over a childish, selfish egomaniac who wooed me (cringing now) with daydreams of boats and travels and of course my mother hated him, which meant I hated her and hurt her, badly I might add, and thank Goddess he packed up and left for the Far East one day for honestly, in all cases but especially this one, it would have most definitely been better NEVER to have loved, like ever.
Which brings us back to Kate. Because while my errors were but springtime follies not destined to permanently mark a life, if this marriage is to be, hers will be the kind of regret that weighs on the heart and stays on the soul, from which only bitterness can be extracted and little, little else.
A shame because yes, she is one of my favourites. I adore Kate Moss. I adore her look and I like the way she"s crafted her celebrity… still a mystery after all these years. Rarely speaks, you really don"t know a lot about what she"s like, she"s never tried to be the girl everybody loves, and of course, the way she photographs, as seen here in the pages of the current issue of W.
Pray Goddess she might finally extricate herself one day from this junkie ass mess. And in the meantime, an adorable video I"d like to share with you. Johnny Depp and Kate on television together
several years ago, so sweet it"ll break your heart. Thanks Jordan for the tip.
Photos from http://www.katefan.net/