Kate Upton: the Vogue cover...finally

June 6, 2013 13:49:29 Posted at June 6, 2013 13:49:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Thelonius/ Splash

Last year, Page Six reported that Kate Upton, unlike many of her model peers, was made to pay her own way into the MET Gala by Anna Wintour. This year at the MET Gala, Upton wore DVF and it was one of the most tragic looks of a night that was dominated by tragic looks. Click here for a refresher. At the time, I wondered whether or not she was Wintour’s second favourite meangirl go-to, after Victoria Beckham, obviously. Mostly though, I wondered whether or not Upton was perhaps trying too hard to belong to a notoriously bitchy community that hasn’t exactly embraced her. 

A week later, Upton appeared on the cover of Vogue. And many of you were all like, well, how could Anna Wintour possibly be playing her if she put her on the front page of the magazine? Good point. And yet... have you read the article?

I finally had a chance to read the full article on a recent flight. Most Vogue model profiles are characterised by awe. These are freakishly beautiful people. The writer spends most of the article remarking on the model’s freakish beauty in 28 different ways. While reminding us that that freakish beauty is natural and effortless.

Upton’s profile opens with a description of her busting her ass with her trainer, trying to slim down as much as possible with 5 days to go before her cover shoot. Then the writer moves on, pointing out that Kate Upton did not rise the way Gisele, Kate, and Naomi did -- that she didn’t work with famed fashion photographers like Meisel, and that renowned designers like Riccardo Tisci never sent her down the runway. Instead, Kate’s success came from...the internet. So, essentially, she’s the Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black of models.

Next, her body. And here again, the writer mentions that hers is not the standard model’s body. That takes up almost a whole column on the page. After that the writer explains how Upton had to hustle by cold-calling agents to get them to see her. All the while, Upton acknowledges that even though she knows she’s not “conventional”, she works hard and believes in herself and won’t change to accommodate them... but, you know, they still managed to work in there the part when she meets the writer for lunch and tells her that she can’t eat cheeseburgers.

For all the time we spent reading about her curves in the piece though, you look at the pictures and...she’s “Vogue size”. So after all that sweating with the trainer, the photo editors kept her tits and shrank everything else. I guess that’s what you call a win?

It’s almost as if Wintour took a call from Sy Newhouse demanding a piece of the Sports Illustrated newsstand pot and she was, like, fine, but I’m going to starve her ass for it and still make her feel and sound like she’s not one of us. And I guess I just wish she’d tell them all to f-ck themselves instead of continuing to play their sick games for acceptance.

Click here to read the Upton Vogue profile and to see the pictures.

Attached -- Upton in New York earlier this week. They’re turning her into another Sophie Dahl.

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