Katie Goes to The Oscars

February 14, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at February 14, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

No not that one. The other one. The one you picks your ass – Katherine Heigl.

Oscar presenters just confirmed and America’s new princess will present at the Oscars this year, now that she’s the new Jennifer Aniston. Except that this TV girl can actually open a movie all on her own. Unlike Jessica Alba, who is also going back to Oscar. The TV girls keep trying, don’t they?

Interestingly enough, Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill are confirmed too. You’ll recall, Katherine starred with both in the film that made her a huge star – Knocked Up. Of course this is the same film she decided to sh*t all over while fellating the MiniVan Majority.

It all worked out in the end though because Katie has now been invited to the biggest show in showbiz alongside all of last year’s winners, many of this year’s nominees including Clooney and Cate, fellow Grey’s castmate Patrick Dempsey, Cameron Diaz, Colin Farrell, Jennifer Garner, Tom Hanks, Hilary Swank, Denzel, and Renee Zellweger.

Others worth noting:

John Travolta will be letting his gay out on the carpet again – last year he showed up with his wife wearing a hideous animal print, ill fitting dress. Hopefully we’ll have a repeat performance.

Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman couldn’t resist the opportunity to milk publicity surrounding her pregnancy and new advances in Botox make it very possible for women to get frozen when they’re expecting, which means we should expect that Granny’s forehead will be as immobile as it was last year, when she glided across the carpet more still and stiff than any statue.

The greasy hotness of Colin Farrell will be quivering the loins at the Kodak too. Hopefully he will eyef&ck the sh*t out of me.

Finally…both Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem will be in attendance. Will they walk together for the first time? Will the Spanish sizzle torch the carpet?

Oscars in 10 days! Can’t wait!

Here’s Heigl today in Berlin promoting 27 Dresses. And earlier this week in Spain too. Many of you objected to her ensemble that day. To tell you the truth, it’s kinda growing on me. She can work the femme fatale, Katie is just so pretty too…and isn’t it way better than those prom dresses she insists on wearing to awards shows? Just sayin’…


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