I’m not saying I don’t love the ensemble – it’s a very nice ensemble. At Paris Fashion Week with Posh, orgeous coat, lovely bag, trousers are fantastic, hair is …ok…but maybe not all together? Because all together she looks about 40. And there’s nothing wrong with 40 but there is something definitely wrong with 27 going on 40 because who at 27 wants to look almost 15 years older?
And you can Oprah yourself to death on this one, lecturing about embracing age and forgoing the idolatry of youth but no woman, in her heart of hearts, would voluntarily slap on a decade unless she was being controlled by a Gay Midget Dwarf and his sinister team of scientologists eager to erase the public memory of an age gap.
Translation: since he’s not getting any younger, why not just make her much older?
Therefore the painfully conservative Katie Holmes: Katie Holmes who has all the gifts – the height, the colouring, a gorgeous face, a thick shiny head of hair, and the sweetest, most beguiling smile that can turn sexy/naughty in an instant – Katie Holmes has been reduced to the role of a young Senator’s Wife circa 1965…meant to be seen and not heard, who smells like cookies and walks like a wisp, without brain, without soul, with nothing to do but shop and breed and raise Little Sci’s in succession.