Blame it on the X-x-x-x-Xenu

January 7, 2016 15:45:44 Posted at January 7, 2016 15:45:44
Maria Posted by Maria

Can you believe it’s been almost 10 years since Tom Cruise presented Katie Holmes, ahem Kate Holmes, in Rome? It was April, springtime. Love bloomed. Contracts were signed, allegedly.

Then there was the summer of 2012, when Katie pulled off one of the greatest surprises in gossip history. Not only did she leave him, Suri in tow, but he had no idea. The Tom that we’d known, on-screen and off, was always in control, shades on, cool, unruffled. There was something about Katie – from the presenting to the couch jumping to being caught flat-footed when she left – that seemed to tip him off his axis and send him spinning out of control.

Since the divorce, Tom’s recalibrated the only way he knows how - by working non-stop. And Katie, as we know, moved to New York and remained visible but largely silent. She hasn’t spoken in any specific terms about her ex, or his relationship with Suri, or the details of the divorce. There have been hundreds, maybe thousands, of tabloid stories revolving around Katie before, during and after the marriage: she’s being held hostage, she’s having an affair with Chris Klein, she’s at war with Tom, she’s fighting for Suri, she’s scared of Xenu, she’s dating Luke Kirby, she’s sleeping with Jamie Foxx, she’s getting back together with Tom, she’s pregnant, she maybe has an eating disorder and/or drug problem (this one got a retraction).

For the most part, she hasn’t gone on record to deny these stories because they are ridiculous and generated by lower-tier tabloids. The rumours have no substance so they come and go without anyone noticing.

When Katie speaks, she makes it count. She remained quiet when Tom Cruise went after Bauer Media but apologized and wished Leah Remini well when Leah was promoting her takedown of Scientology. Katie’s comment was brief, but she said just the right thing. There was no ambiguity. It seems that she knows just what to say when the story matters to her.

Which is why I found it curious that last night on Instagram, she posted a screengrab of a Gossip Cop story refuting a tabloid story about her marrying Jamie Foxx and battling Tom Cruise. Why acknowledge this particular story, and not the dozens of others like it over the years? Why post a shot of the headline that mentions Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise? It spread the story further. And it’s a non-story to begin with. I find it hard to imagine she doesn’t know this.

Not only did she post it, but she also updated the post with a link to the Gossip Cop story and a caption saying that she’s doing it because she wants the media to “respect my daughter's privacy and stop publishing ridiculous lies.” Out of all of the stories that have been printed about Suri, 99% seem untrue and arguably invasive, but this is the one she chose to use a boundary. Why? There’s nothing particularly outrageous here, but there is something that got Katie’s back up.

So I’m not sure this rebuttal is a message for Tom—by all accounts they have a very limited relationship, and don’t seem like the types to trade blows over social media. The post also mentions Jamie and marriage, so let’s look there for a minute.

There have been rumblings of something romantic, sort of confirmed by a few blurry photos, for years. Jamie has been vocal about denying it for years. And the reason for the down-low status is often blamed on Tom and the long-arm of Xenu. But if Katie can leave Tom, raise her daughter without the heavy influence of the Church, move to New York, and live her life without having to pretend she’s wearing Tom’s jeans, why would she be scared to move on in a significant way? A lot of time has passed, and Jamie is no back-up dancer. Jamie has no reason to be professionally intimidated by Tom.

Maybe the problem with Jamie and Katie is Jamie and Katie. Is it because this is a “you said keep our business on the low low” situation? Because I’m reading this social media rebuttal as an assertion: the very idea of marrying Jamie Foxx offends her.

And if that is the message, is it because she wants Jamie to see it? Or is it true? Or both? Or… ?

For now, the more celebrity-friendly tabloids will take this “leave Suri alone” angle at face value and she’ll be Katie, Courage Mom once again. This will be something to watch. Because now that saucier tabloids know they have her attention, the Suri stories just got a lot more valuable. If we don’t hear from her again, well, we know that something about this particular headline bothered her. Something that has nothing to do with her child. Cold feet, perhaps? Or regret? This is the most interesting she’s been since she used all her energy to kick Xenu to the curb. Maybe her New Year’s resolution is to have a bit more fire.

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