Katie Holmes: Lobotomy on a dance floor

July 24, 2009 06:36:54 Posted at July 24, 2009 06:36:54
Lainey Posted by Lainey


Michelle said to me before leaving the office last night that she was afraid to watch SYTYCD. Afraid to feel the fontrum for Katie Holmes. And her premonition came true. It was the f-cking sh-ts. And an embarrassment to the show. A complete embarrassment to a show that has, for 5 years, taken pride in the quality of its performers, the drama of the live performance, the excitement and the energy of the crowd…

But this farce of a routine, which was over-directed and over-edited, was the very antithesis of what So You Think You Can Dance is supposed to stand for. What is the point of a pre-taped segment? And if her schedule conflicts with dancing live, why not find a REAL DANCER INSTEAD?

Given that it was pre-taped, you’d think it would be the most amazing of amazingness, right? Like high budget music video quality right? After all, when you pre-tape you have the luxury of doing it a million times over and over and cutting it later to put in the best parts.

So I guess these were the best parts…?

The only best about it was how she looked. Katie looked gorgeous. Empty and lobotomised, but gorgeous. Great cheekbones, great lips, great body, great costumes, great hat.


It was a fashion show!

It was NOT a fashion show.

It was sold to us as a dance piece.

Bit it ended up being Katie Holmes stepping around, lipsynching, sticking her hips out now and again, and getting lifted by some dudes from one side of the stage to the other side of the stage. They call this choreography. They talk about it like it took weeks and weeks to put together.

And then, as the final piece of sh-t on top of a smoldering mountain of sh-t, at the very end, look at the expression on her face as she concludes the routine – it’s directed to look like she’s actually LIVE IN STUDIO in front of the audience…!

She said she was doing it for the Dizzy Feet Foundation. Not sure why a donation wasn’t enough. A donation and an interview? Providing an auction item? Personalised gift? No… none of these things.

You know why?


She actually thinks she’s good.

That’s the underlying message, isn’t it?

If you sucked at something, and they asked you to do it anyway on national television, would you go ahead with it? You wouldn’t go ahead with it unless you thought you’d do a good job, right?

So Katie Holmes thinks she did a good job.

Katie Holmes watched the playback of this performance and said to herself – surrounded by sycophants saying it along with her – that she thought it was good enough to air, that it was not only good enough to air, but that it was good enough to air alongside the truly GIFTED dancers competing on the show.

A slap in the face to real dancers, and an insult to viewers.

High five.

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