It's not Karl's muse

April 23, 2012 18:23:26 Posted at April 23, 2012 18:23:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, PCN, John Shearer/Getty

Remember when entertainment outlets were trying to sell us on Katy Perry's romance with Karl Lagerfeld's muse, the beautiful Baptiste? And we were like, um, that's not actually possible? I really wish they’d stop insulting us when they try to make up stories. It’s really offensive.

Katy is not dating Baptiste. Katy may have wanted to date Baptiste 10 years ago. But by now, I think Katy knows. She is however dating Robert Ackroyd of Florence & The Machine. Clearly she’s also ready to confirm it. They confirmed it all over Coachella this weekend. Needless to say, people are making it a situation, how she’s totally over Russell Brand and all. Yes, she is. Because she’s 27. And love happens all the time, it really, really does. More all the time for celebrities.

Anyway, I think they look great together. Super hot. So that’s great. Katy is in love again. Can we focus for a moment on her best friend Shannon Woodward then? I like Shannon Woodward. I hope she does well. But I feel like maybe she’s struggling after what happened with Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone. Or at least her wardrobe is. Her wardrobe is suffering a lot. Please take a look at what Shannon wore to Coachella last week (black net sleeves and silver sparkly underwear - wtf?) and this week (green bra and skirt with mesh top overlay and some kind of headgear). I just... I mean, if you’re Rihanna, or on stage, or, I dunno, in a photo shoot or something, I guess, depending on who it is, I guess you could make exceptions. But I’m not sure Shannon Woodward is any/all of these things. And I’m not sure why, at Coachella, like, old grubby shorts and a t-shirt weren’t acceptable.

What’s it like to be the plus one of someone like Katy Perry when you’re already a sort-of celebrity yourself but no one actually recognises you? Remember, actors are fundamentally all narcissists. They play every single role in their own minds. Which is why it’s so interesting when they’re made to co-exist. God, it’s a devastating thing living in a famous neighbourhood, isn’t it? You try your best to not try and you’re afraid you’ll disappear, fade away. When you try, you’re told, by bitches on blogs, that the trying is embarrassing. It is unfair, of course it is. And I suppose ultimately it’s up to that person to find their own peace. I wonder if Shannon’s Coachella’s clothes are her own peace. Like, f-ck it, I’ll wear silver underwear if I want to even if no one notices. Because the truth is, I’m not sure anyone else even bothered to write about it.

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