Where’s your book?

September 2, 2010 12:15:46 Posted at September 2, 2010 12:15:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Two days ago, Us Weekly posted an inane article on its site called “Kellan Lutz: I don’t want to be a piece of meat my entire career”.

Here’s Kellan outside of his house yesterday papped while getting something out of his car, conveniently with his shirt off. Making up for lost time, I guess. He was in Louisiana recently rebuilding homes in New Orleans with his girlfriend, that McCord girl, who matches him abdominal for abdominal where famewhoring is concerned.

Apparently Kellan wants to be taken seriously as an actor. I don’t think Shia LaBeouf has anything to worry about. For that matter, Channing Tatum has nothing to worry about either. Because if we’re talking typecasting and Hollywood categories here, Lutz has nothing on Tatum who, for beefcakes, is working non-stop and continues to get the scripts that Lutz can’t buy. Which is why he keeps taking his shirt off and POSING IN TREES WITH A BOOK.

Remember when Kellan Lutz posed in a tree with a book? Click here.

Channing Tatum, despite my personal quiver-free assertion that he looks a little Cro-Magnon-y, doesn’t have to pose in trees with books. Tatum, in fact, was actually spotted READING a book in Toronto earlier this week at the Duke of York. And no photographers were around. And it wasn’t a picture book with big block writing either, a detail hilariously provided by Olga who sent in the tip. Obviously this was an important piece of information: that Channing Tatum didn’t go a restaurant to flex his muscles but was, rather, catching up on something a little more productive.

He is currently in Toronto shooting The Vow with Rachel McAdams, another tearjerker to complement the brawny action features and police dramas (with Al Pacino no less) that he’s also been working on. Surprisingly versatile, right? Not bad for homo neanderthalensis.

And that sucks for Kellan Lutz. Because, please, who’s choosing Kellan Lutz over Channing Tatum?

As for Kellan, in about 5 minutes I’ll be hearing from some loser Twi-Hard about how these shots outside his place were intrusive and not on purpose. Because people READ IN TREES all the time. Let me put it to you in financial terms, because it all comes down to money in these cases. And photos of Kellan Lutz are not lucrative. They don’t print. They don’t print week after week. So if you’re a pap, and time is money, scouting is money, waiting is money, why the f-ck would you wait outside Kellan Lutz’s house for a maybe shot of him coming out of his house with his shirt off that probably won’t fetch much, if at all, when you could be out looking for the money shot of Jennifer Aniston’s ass hanging out after yoga class?


Photos from Todd G / John K /Splashnewsonline.com and Famepictures.com