Keith & Kenny at the CMT Awards

April 11, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 11, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
As I hear it, in the world of country, Keith Urban and Kenny Chesney are considered hunk #1 and hunk #2. …. Now Kenny I can sort of/not really/but if I"m feeling particularly generous kind of understand. Aside from the whole fraud annulment with Renee situation, there are actually a few things I like about Kenny Chesney. First…the tractor song. Try it some time if you haven"t already. The lyrics will crack you up. Next - My dad went bald at 25 so naturally, I have a soft spot for men who suffer from premature hair loss. It"s kind of adorable. He also strikes me as more than a little gay. And y"all know how I love the gays. Finally, for a honky tonk, pick-up driving, God-fearing Southern, Kenny actually looks quite gentle. Which means I don’t think he"d ever put on a white mask and lynch me. For a visible minority, these things are very important. Trust me on this one. Keith Urban, on the other hand, is a complete f&ckin" mystery. Never noticed his beady little perv eyes until now. Funny how they go perfectly with the creepy dry thin lips. But the piece de resistance has to be the hair - Winona Ryder circa Reality Bites 1994, and highlights that could make even Jennifer Aniston take note. Can you hear my disgusted loins slamming shut? As for updates on the ongoing fraud he"s arranged with Nicole Kidman... Nothing"s changed as far as I"ve heard. She"s still full steam ahead for a June wedding, he"s unhappily going along for the ride. Something about an aspiring movie career and a contract trade off for success beyond Nashville. Hmmm…doesn"t look like that"s going too well. Which is why I"m told her people worked very hard to get their love message out to the gossiping public, especially when they were together in New York a couple of weeks ago. Coveniently enough, everyone from the Post to the Daily News to Liz Smith reported on their "romantic" dinners. The handholding, the gazing dreamily into each others" eyes, the burning intensity between them - so very convincing, don’t you think? But in light of the recent Page 6 blowout, does this really surprise you??? And do you still think there are coincidences in Hollywood???
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