As we all know by now, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban were married on Sunday in Australia. It was a sunset ceremony, a private and intimate affair with only 230 guests and every detail kept under wraps.
Umm…except for the invitation of course. Which was printed in the newspapers today. See attached. Oh and also some small, meaningless tips about the ceremony itself:
Nicole was accompanied down the aisle by her father and a spotlight – A SPOTLIGHT! -staged by Baz Luhrman!!! She was attended by her sister Antonia, the maid of honour, her daughter Isabella, and her niece Lucia. Per People Magazine, Hugh Jackman performed at the reception and Nicole cried all the way to the church and throughout the ceremony. Although specific details have not been released, we do know that Keith also shed a few tears when he saw his new bride and that “when her veil was lifted, he moved right in and he grabbed her and kissed her. It was a long, passionate kiss” and that the two appear to be “so deeply in love.” So in love that he sang “Memories of Us” for her and was supposedly overcome.
Russell Crowe got up at one point and addressed the couple, sending his wellwishes, and guests were treated to chicken and salmon and Moet and a Tiffany desk clock to commemorate the occasion. Other than that, we know nothing. Oh wait, except for the fact that the priest was able to answer so many pressing questions in the days leading up to the event that we can be sure that it was definitely OK for Nicole to be married in the Catholic church even though she was already married before because as it turns out the Catholic church doesn’t recognize her scientologically blessed union the first time around. Thank Goddess Nicole had such a well prepared and articulate officiant. Glad we cleared that up.
What else? Oh yes. The dress. The dress was Balenciaga which was, like, a total surprise. In true Nicole fashion however, it was absolutely gorgeous. Say what you will about the woman – her frozen face, her frozen brow, her granny hair etc etc etc – but to me, her style sense has never been a problem. Nine times out of ten, Nicole Kidman will always be my bet at any given event on originality, on risk, and on pure glam factor.
Needless to say, on her wedding day, she did not disappoint. It was ivory, it was one shoulder, it was an empire line, and it was spectacular. Probably not the best in terms of fengshui fashion but hey, she ain’t cut from the yellow cloth of my people – so what the hell does she care if we think the marriage is unbalanced? And to top it all off – my absolute favourite had to be the high collared cape she wore afterwards. A royal touch - perfect for the Queen of Australia, non?
So Nicole Kidman has signed love after love. And for that, I am incredibly happy for her. Happy and bemused. It was indeed the wedding of the year. As for their honeymoon - plans are unclear but we do know that they are expected to visit Fiji or Bora Bora during the next two weeks. Hopefully a baby will follow shortly after. For no other reason than the fact that I am sick of this ridiculous hermaphrodite rumour.
Finally – and please do not keep reading if you’ve been swept away by the romance of the new Kidmans and have had enough of my contract conspiracy theories – you will note that in the few photos that have been released of Keith, he seems to be wearing a couple of bracelets. According to some observers, these were bracelets given to Keith by the “mystery brunette”, the one he apparently still carries a torch for, the one whose heart he broke to be with Nicole. All conjecture and speculation of course, but yet another fabulous little rumour – in addition to that rock solid prenup – that this union could be more business arrangement than it is a true mating of souls.
Who knew Nicole Kidman could be this deliciously smutty???