Danielle Jonas Catches The Snitch
Danielle Jonas is pregnant and now we’ve got some problems. The first problem is how much do I have to explain about who Danielle Jonas is? She’s at a particularly weird point in the celebrity life cycle where some people (ME!) know enough about her to make fun of her decorating taste and yet lots of other people (although probably not many regular readers of this blog) are going to be like “who? It’s pronounced ‘Danielle Fishele’.”
So for those who have not been demented enough to be giving her attention, the answer is she’s Kevin Jonas’ wife. Still confused? She’s married to the oldest Jonas brother and they have a reality show on the E! Network.
The other problem is that she’s basically the worst. Her show, the sloppily named Married to Jonas, started off as a total hate-watch. From her first day on television she was a charisma vacuum. She complained about how uncomfortable she was with the spotlight, how she didn’t want to be seen as an opportunist because of her marriage. Her show is basically about how difficult it is for her to be interesting on her own show.
Obviously this made no sense. Obviously being married to a star – a JONAS no less - doesn’t mean you need to live a public life. Obviously we’ve heard more from Danielle f*cking Jonas in the past year than we have from Rita Wilson, Kelly Preston, or Danny Moder combined. My point is, girl was desperate to be famous and doing a terrible job overcompensating…which has actually turned out to be pretty entertaining.
Now after two seasons of complaining about a spotlight that never existed, Danielle Jonas is knocked up and there’s an actual reason to pay attention. So is this the moment where we give in? Where, like Tyra Banks, The Real Housewives, or Kathy Lee Gifford before her, hate-watching suddenly gives way to actual celebrity? I guess the fact that we’re talking about this today is the answer. (Lainey: or, more precisely, Dean's answer.)