Twilight Birthday Drama

May 13, 2010 10:13:05 Posted at May 13, 2010 10:13:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Today is Robert Pattinson’s birthday. Twi-Hards are celebrating with a new tattoo. You’ve seen this right? These losers keep denying they’re crazy. And then this sh-t comes out and it illustrates just how.

Unfortunately this Twi-Hard holy day hasn’t started out so fortuitously. And now they’re probably trying to hack into the NY Post website. Because Page Six  published a story today about a fight that went down between Pattinson and girlfriend Kristen Stewart on the Vancouver reshoot set a couple of weeks ago. They say that Stewart threw down with him because she was upset that he arrived late, as I originally didn’t report here, from London after being held up by a visit to a burlesque show. Apparently they scrapped in front of the entire crew and then she stormed off for an hour.

Twi-Hard suicide watch!

So what really went down?

First of all, while Pattinson’s arrival was indeed a day after he was originally expected, the burlesque incident was totally innocent. It was some kind of art school fundraiser. He was there with friends. The end. As for this argument – yes, there was a heated exchange. But the reason why I did not mention it is because it was inconsequential. It was nothing. Couples argue. All the time. And that set was tense for reasons entirely outside of the Stewart Pattinson relationship. So in that awkward environment they snapped at each other, as people do, as we all do with those who are close to us, and they took a break from work, and then they resumed their work, and that was the end of it.

Love is never stress-free, Twi-Hards, even outside of werewolves and vampire wars. Even the most beautiful-est, perfect-est star-crossed union between the most amazing-est two people ever has moments of conflict. So they are a normal young couple. They scrap, and they get over it, and they move on. Nothing super smutty here. And you know, if it’s coming from me, and you hate my sh-t, and I’m not making a major production out of it, what does that tell you?

Feel better, a little better?

How about this?

Just to reassure you about their incandescent, already legendary and more iconic than Brange union, you’ll want to jizz yourselves over this: Stewart and Pattinson have been on holiday together. They’d been planning it for months. And so far they’ve been clever enough to keep the location(s) secret, a private getaway on their own.

Hate me tomorrow Twi-Hards, but today I am your friend.

File photo from Michael Murdock/

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