Twi-hard blue balls

June 1, 2009 06:35:36 Posted at June 1, 2009 06:35:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

One year ago, they showed up and Russell Brand cut them off.

12 months later…

Needless to say, the MTV voting process isn’t exactly the Academy. Which is why Twi-hards took to the internets furiously to ensure a win for their vampire cheese, in their opinion vastly superior to the Oscar winner Slumdog Millionaire. Twilight of course is a film adapted from the “literature” of Stephenie Meyer remember.

So they mobilised. And they were rewarded. They were rewarded and then Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart gave them blue balls.

On stage to accept their award for Best Kiss, Pattinson and Stewart teased…but just like the books, in which vampires won’t f-ck until they’re married, they pulled out and thwarted release.

Video is below but Viacom has been pulling these quickly. Watch while you can…

So are your testicles constricted or what?

Here they are, Kristen, Robert, a newly single Taylor Lautner, and the rest of the cast (without Nikki Reed and Jackson Rathbone) celebrating their victories. As you can see, Pattinson continues to keep the open mouth posing to a minimum. Sometimes he loses concentration, lets that bottom lip fall, but for the most part we’re not inviting flies and mosquitoes anymore. He does need to acclimate himself to the fame thing though. Looked like he either wanted to die or throw up every time he was called up on stage.

I wondered last night on Twitter whether or not the Twi-hards would eat his puke. Or preserve it in their museum. Probably.

Thought Kristen looked amazing in red and chucks. LOVE her hair. LOVE the eye makeup. And found it particularly endearing when she dropped her popcorn. She is incredibly unpolished. On a night where she found herself surrounded by Disney freaks, this was refreshing.

As for the highly anticipated New Moon trailer – not bad. Edward’s constipation face is back. And Jacob Wolf turns into a cuddly teddy bear.

Laura, by now, has probably watched it 15 times. I will have to endure a hormone-fused phone call or series of emails today. I know it.

Photos from and and

Previous Article Next Article