She’s not allowed to have friends
I’ve been meaning to gather the Best Twi-Hard Hatemail of 2010 for a year-end post but last night my laptop decided to be a bitch and die after I plugged it into the tv. The motherf-cker isn’t even 6 months old. Jacek has been trying to recover my data all night. So I have no access to my inbox, just webmail (accessing only emails over the last 24 hours), and I’m using his laptop which was my previous laptop.
Happily however Twi-Hards have found a new reason to be crazy and have been spamming me with anxiety all morning. It doesn’t take much. And it never takes much when it comes to defending their precious Robert Pattinson. Pattinson is very likely in London to spend Christmas with family. Stewart’s family lives in LA. Stewart is a low down dirty bitch because instead of pining for him at home during the holidays, she decided to go out and see some friends. According to Hollywood Life one of those friends was Garrett Hedlund with whom they say Stewart was spotted at Soho House on Christmas Eve. Stewart and Hedlund of course just worked together on On The Road.
Needless to say, widespread panic has erupted with accusations flying back and forth that this means Stewart must be cheating on Pattinson, even though Gossip Cop, always quick to call a publicist, dialed up Hedlund’s rep to confirm that he was never at Soho House. Now although Gossip Cop can be, at times, a little too eager to believe the celebrity mouthpiece (a publicist is paid to lie, after all), publicists are generally reliably dishonest when it comes to statements like “She’s not pregnant” or “He’s not a cheater” or “John Travolta isn’t gay”. Publicists are somewhat more believable in this day and age of cellphones and Twitter though when they say that x, y, or z wasn’t present at a certain place or an event. Because this is easy to prove or disprove.
But this doesn’t change the spirit of the story. Even though it wasn’t Hedlund, and even though Hollywood Life, in their intial report, notes that there was no kissing or touching or anything suggestive between Stewart and her mystery companion, the fact remains that Stewart was with a male friend at Soho House on December 24th and therefore has broken the laws of Twilight that dictate that a girl who has a boyfriend but who cannot be with her boyfriend has to shut herself in her house and not go out until she can be with the boyfriend again.
As you’ll note from the messages below, for this Kristen Stewart deserves to die a thousand painful deaths.
Thank you Stephenie Meyer and Twi-Hards for setting women back 100 years.
your dear kristen was caught cheating with your dear garrett,time to start celebrate,you never cared about robert anyway. From Renee
you must be really happy today lainey kristen either broke up with rob for garrett or she is cheating on him with garrett. From Heather
Figure you of all people that worship that anorexic slutbag Kristen Stewart cheating on Rob with that butt ugly Garrett. Haha Lainey is she trying to make him feel better for the Tron fail? They deserve each other because they’re loosers. We always knew he was too good for her. She just pissed on the best thing that will ever happen to her in her life. This will hurt him but in the long run what doesn’t kill you will just make you stronger. Look out. You can’t hold Rob back. From Carrie
Don’t you love them?
There’s nothing like a good old crazy Twi-Hard to brighten up your day.
Here’s Garrett Hedlund arriving at the Laker game on Christmas Day. We took our nephews and niece to see Tron over the holiday. They loved it. I mean, it was 3D and bright lights happened and there were awesome sounds and explosions…of course they loved it, they’re kids. But...
If you’re an adult, after the initial 3D coolness wears off, Jesus Tron is a bad movie. I actually don’t know what it was about. No idea. And the acting. Is So Bad. It was contagious. Hedlund is horrible. Even Jeff Bridges, who didn’t seem to give a goddamn the entire time, was way below standard. And the worst part is this, especially as it relates to Quiver:
Garrett in a bodysuit, in his Tron racing suit, is the total sh-ts. And he wears it so much. And they show him from every angle, it’s like pouring acid on your boner.
His ass is low. His thighs are thick. Proportionally it’s just not happening. And it’s terribly, terribly distracting. So much so that even Jacek, who is programmed not to notice these things, especially on other men, said to me later “that guy should have worked out harder because he looked saggy in his suit”.
Ugh. It was awful. And so I need him to be extra, extra, extra great in Country Strong. Because, as you know already, the Five List is unforgiving. I am fickle. Bad in a bodysuit is exactly the kind of problem my fickle has a problem forgiving.
Also attached – one of Kristen Stewart’s best looks in 2010 at the NYC premiere of Eclipse.
Photos from Wenn.com