Maybe I’m just tired… I don’t have an opinion.
A little background first since, let’s be honest, he’s not exactly Grade A status.
Brody Jenner, famous stepfather, parents, whatever…not important. The point is, he’s rich, he’s spoiled, grew up in Cali, had a reality show called Princes of Malibu, good looking in that Ken-doll kind of way.
Dated Kristin Cavallari from Laguna Beach for a while. Five minutes after breaking up with her, he was seen out and about and around with Nicole Richie and then five minutes after that with Lauren Conrad of The Hills.
Now, in a new interview with Details Magazine, a surprisingly candid interview actually, Brody admits to dating Nicole purely out of self promotional greed, taking the advice of his schmuck friend/manager/hanger-on Spencer Pratt:
"Here"s what you"re gonna do. You"re gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you"re gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that sh--, bro. You"ll be, like, a f---ing hero to America."
He dated her to be famous. He dated Lauren to be famous. Not surprisingly, he’s now succeeded.
And he’s admitting to it all. Which makes him a total prick…but still. Given that there’s so little of it in Hollywood, sometimes Truth is kinda refreshing, know what I mean? Even when it’s opportunistic? Maybe I’m just tired.
So anyway, as you would expect, Brody now has a show of his own. That f&cking sidekick twit, Spencer, will be joining him on his quest to find a “normal” girl. Not an “LA” girl but a regular, normal girl. In other words a stupid girl. Because isn’t that the only girl who would fall for this sh-t?
Or am I just old?
Was watching The Hills last night – we are 3 eps behind in Canada so it was the one about Heidi’s birthday party and Brody’s all into Lauren and feeding her these lines, like the worst lines ever, the kind of lines that make you cover your eyes when you’re watching but render you incapable of looking away…you know those lines?
God I love it when you smile. I want to make you smile all the time.
I love being here with you. Right now I don’t want to be anywhere else.
Your eyes. You have the most beautiful eyes. I could just look at them all night.
I’m serious. I’m not joking. He was saying this. Lauren was smiling. A million other viewers were squealing. My husband left the room in disgust. I was trying hard not to throw up. And I talk about this with my friend Duana all the time – what it would be like to be 20 again. When I was 20, if some dude was droppin’ this on me…would I melt like Lauren did? Would I be wishing to be in her position?
I can’t remember.
But I’d like to think that I’d have the same reaction I had last night. Which was to laugh and groan and feel all icky inside. In embarrassment for him. And for her. And look forward to feeling more embarrassment for his future victims. And wonder if he can do something about that loser ass hair style.
Seriously, he’s cute and all but the hair sucks all kindsa ass.