Leo & Alejandro: The Survivors

December 16, 2015 15:40:50 Posted at December 16, 2015 15:40:50
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Seriously. That’s what Variety is calling Leonardo DiCaprio and Alejandro G Inarritu on the new issue, just in time for the holiday break, so that Oscar voters can read about The Struggle. I don’t know why they just don’t rename the film The Struggle.

As you would expect, the article is about what a f-cking struggle it was to make the movie. And how they fought the elements, how it became Man vs Nature, and super meta because that’s the journey that Leo’s character travels – he’s up against the winter, the bear, and once he conquers both, he meets his greatest adversary: Man, Tom Hardy.

They’re telling us that it’s the greatest performance of Leo’s career. And we open in the piece with a story about how he decided not to eat fake meat but real, raw bison liver, so that it would look more realistic – risking infection and disease for the sake of art.

Director Alejandro G. Inarritu says he was initially concerned that his leading man could get sick from eating a potentially disease-ridden organ. But, he now beams at what the real liver added to DiCaprio’s performance. “Without it, he may not have gotten to the truth,” Inarritu says.

So you’re telling me that an actor of Leonardo DiCaprio’s calibre might not have been able to get to the truth had he not risked his health? Um, if that’s the case, WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT HIS ACTING?!?

Whatever. This is not the time to ask questions. This is the time to accept what they tell you. And what Sean Penn is telling you. Because he pops up in this article too. You’ll recall, Sean and Alejandro are close. And Sean wants you to know that if The Revenant isn’t appreciated the way they are ordering you to appreciate it, it means we’ve failed as a culture:

“It’s hard to say what will happen, and whether the brilliance of this film will be rewarded relative to its costs,” says Sean Penn, who worked with Inarritu on “21 Grams,” and calls “The Revenant” a masterpiece. “I’d like to think we’re a culture that values its art enough to recognize we need this.”

That’s some big talk right there, telling us what we “need” artistically. Basically, without The Revenant, we would all be lacking. The Revenant isn’t just a film then. It’s an ESSENTIAL.

Sure. Now the question is whether or not this film that we all “need” will make any money. What is it that we “need” more from this film than we do from, say, a movie like Sisters, starring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler? I’d argue that Sisters, a comedy featuring two women, written by a woman, and produced by a woman could be seen as more of a necessity than a story about a man’s survival in the wilderness because, you know, that’s never been done before.

Click here to read more about Leo & Alejandro’s survival. You’ll note there’s also a blind mention of a fight that they claim never happen. Sure. 

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