All roads lead to Wendi Deng

December 9, 2016 16:44:41 by Maria
Hi!

Leonardo DiCaprio met with Donald and Ivanka Trump this week to discuss green jobs. 
But why, seriously, when Donald and Ivanka wanted to talk about the environment, did they call in Leo? The meeting may have been facilitated by former Vice President Al Gore, but it could also be the work of an elusive international woman of mystery, Wendi Deng. On the campaign trail, Ivanka focused on issues like wage equality, child care and maternity leave and is now said to be pivoting towards the environment. Considering her father’s take on climate change (big hoax, huuuuggggeeee hoax), it’s a curious change in her agenda. And Ivanka and her husband Jared are measured and strategic, not reactive.

Ivanka is very good friends with Wendi Deng; Wendi reunited Ivanka and Jared Kushner when they briefly split up by inviting them both to the Murdoch yacht. Wendi has been rumoured to be dating Vlad Putin, who – I mean, do we really need to get into it? We all know who Vladimir Putin is and what he maybe meant to the US election. But Wendi’s circle is so much richer than this (both literally and figuratively) – she is also very good friends with Dasha Zhukova, wife of Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich. Dasha spends a ton of time with the LA Mommy Mafia, including her very good friend Jennifer Meyer, estranged wife of Tobey Maguire, and long-time friend of the Wolf Pack. How deep are these ties? Well, it’s more like a web that crosses continents, marked by star-packed lunches at Wendi’s and vacations on Roman’s superyacht.

In 2015, Jen Meyer and Leo’s mom and her boyfriend went to Russia to celebrate the opening of Dasha’s Garage Museum of Contemporary Art in Moscow. You know who else was at that party? Karlie Kloss, who is dating Joshua Kushner, brother of Jared. Also Stella McCartney, Arianna Huffington and Miucci Prada. And, of course, Wendi.

 


Wendi and Dasha are partners in Artsy, a web-based art collective. Wendi, Dasha and Ivanka went to the US Open together this summer. It goes on and on and it  goes back years and years. (Richie Akiva, Wolf Pack member and owner of Leo’s favourite hangout 1Oak, has posted pictures from inside Trump Tower, so it’s a fair to guess that he lives there.)

In short, Ivanka has become a key player within a group of people that would probably snicker behind her father’s back, calling him bloated and vulgar, making fun of the Scotch tape on his tie. Trump can barely manage to make Billy Bush laugh, what chance do you think he’d have with David Geffen? He’d be eaten alive. It is widely believed that Ivanka is her father’s pride and joy, with the older kids being relegated to the roles of F-ckface 1, Rapeface 2, and Who?. Ivanka and her husband are reportedly moving to DC and she seems to always be by her father’s side – Tiffany probably doesn’t even have his phone number anymore. If you want to get to the President or his team, you need Ivanka and/or Jared’s blessing.

This is where Wendi, someone well-versed in working alongside powerful, older men (she was married to Voldermort Murdoch at the height of the phone tapping scandal), would be a great support system for Ivanka. Wendi has proven smart, agile, adaptable and resilient. Do you think you make it through a marriage with Rupert Murdoch and an infatuation with Tony Blair without a few life lessons?

Now, her close friend Ivanka is the de facto First Lady, but maybe even more powerful. This is Wendi’s time to make suggestions, to help guide Ivanka through this intense time. When Ivanka needs to assemble allies, Wendi is there with her contact list (which includes celebrities, yes, but also the most powerful people in tech, philanthropy, communications, oil, music, film, publishing) who may not be in agreement or want to be associated with the PEOTUS, but will certainly take a meeting on Wendi’s advice. So the next time someone with a manbun (they always have a manbun) sniffs at you for liking celebrity gossip, please direct them to Google Wendi f-cking Deng.

(Lainey: or Leo and Trump could simply be connected by pussy. Remember, Leo once thanked Trump for offering “one-stop date-shopping” at the pussy parties that Trump used to throw. Like for business.) 

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