Lindsay Lohan: ass in mouth disease

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 9, 2006 12:00:00 August 9, 2006 12:00:00
Someone. Anyone. Please stop her. Please stop my girl from going Britney - a verbally incontinent, ignorant young star too stoned and too stupid to understand the ramifications of her actions. Once upon a time, starlet breakdowns consisted of leaving your man at the altar and taking off with his best friend. Can"t we go back to the good old days? Back then, Julia caused such a scandal when she chose Jason Patric over Kiefer Sutherland. But these days? It"s barely newsworthy compared to Lilo"s monthly hospitalisations, her many boyfriends, her public admonishments, her weekly tabloid appearances, and now her wickedly ridiculous attempt at "giving back" in Iraq. As quoted in the latest issue of Elle: "I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It"s so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who"s basically a pinup, which is what I"ve always aspired to be. I"m not afraid of going. My security guard is going to take me to a gun range when I get back to L.A., and I"m going to start taking shooting lessons. Yeah, I have a dark side. I watched all those videos on Charles Manson for a while." Right. So the most powerful, sophisticated army in the world hasn"t been able to control the chaos in Iraq but Lindsay Lohan, armed with a rifle, her security guard, and her pert freckled ass is going to be able to safely navigate the volatile Baghdad landscape??? Was I this dumb at 20? Were you? Where was her publicist? I mean, I can appreciate the art of giving good interview, especially the part where she says Paris excels at putting out porn, but sometimes, sometimes some things just shouldn"t be said. Or they could be said differently…like this: I support the soldiers in Iraq. I would be willing to do anything to lift their spirits, and I would be honoured to have the opportunity to visit with them overseas. Period. No guns, no laughable comparisons to iconic blondes, no reference to sadistic mass murderers who escaped death row on a technicality. What in f&ck was she doing talking about Iraq??? What in f&ck was she thinking bringing up Manson??? And again, where in f&ck was her publicist??? Anyway, here she is on set the other day, riding her bike and perpetuating a more wholesome image for a change. She does look cute, non? Off topic for a sec though - according to the caption, the person next to her is Cary Elwes, better known as Wesley from The Princess Bride, definitely one of my Favourite Top 10 movies of all time. But Wesley? What"s become of Wesley??? Gives you a brand new appreciation for Rob Lowe, doesn"t it? Photo source

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