Lindsay"s Perky Ass
April 2, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 2, 2006 12:00:00
So I know it’s tempting to look at this photo and immediately get your claws out. Lindsay Lohan giving us a sneak and peek at the Kids’ Choice Awards this weekend. It would be nice to trash her ass, to call out any imperfections, to rag on the sag etc etc etc. I’ll admit that was my first reaction too. But then I took a closer look. A VERY close look. And after spending 15 minutes examining her bum and then comparing it against my own 32 year old trunk, I gotta tell ya, hers looks pretty damn good to me. Both sides sit impressively high, a regal lift befitting a teenage superstar, with no discernable cellie, no unsightly random pubes, not a trace of butt acne, and still something to grab on to. What’s not to love? The dress, on the other hand, is begging for attack. A tad overdressed for Kids’ Choice, non? I mean, I know the girl is campaigning for style recognition these days but a pair of jeans on the carpet now and again wouldn’t kill her, would it? And then there’s the material - Budget, budget, budget. Couture or not, I wouldn’t even put this on a bridesmaid gown for a town hall, paper plate and Dixie cup, cousin marrying cousin wedding. You’d think a girl from Long Island would know better. Or maybe she’s too coked up to care?