From Anonymous: Mariah - FAKE, FAKE, FAKE!

January 15, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at January 15, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
I am a certified professional bra fitter. Yes, they exist. I have fit many a real and artificial breast into a bra. I"ve seen em all, big or small. I myself, am a busty woman...I have what are known to my bra fitting friends as miraculous stand up tits that are 100% real. Let me assure you that I do NOT look like that in a Triangle Bikini. Mariah"s boobs, while lovely are absolutely NOT real. NO ONE HAS BREASTS THAT STAND UP LIKE THAT IN A STRING BIKINI UNLESS THEY ARE FAKE. No one. Not even our girl La Lohan. REAL breasts are heavy. Weigh a LOT. Mariahs, if real, would weigh about five to ten pounds each. Try holding a hand weight in a bikini top with wee strings attached and see what happened. Mariahs, if real, would pull down that top in two seconds. There are NO wires. I would bet a million dollars that they are fake. NO WAY, good, nice, pretty, BUT FAKE. Dear Everyone: I have received a muthaload of mail about this issue. And I LOVE this debate! So let"s to it, shall we? As you are probably well aware, I"m not a terribly profound person. I don"t spend a lot of time thinking about hard hitting issues. In fact, if you were to call me at any given moment, my mind would probably be preoccupied with the following: 1. Should I get a perm? 2. On my first date with Joaquin, should I wear my Sevens or my True Religions. My Sevens make me look leaner. My Trues make my ass look tighter. What to do? 3. Should I switch my dog Marcus to a raw food diet? 4. Who is Toothy Tile? 5. Why doesn"t SJP get rid of that boil on her chin? 6. Will Michelle Kwan ever win a gold medal? And finally… 7. Are Mariah"s tits fuh real? The point is - I have spent A LOT of time on this conundrum. I have observed them from every angle. I have consulted experts - namely my husband. I have considered each and every one of your arguments. I have discussed this at length with my cousin Cat who, like you, thinks they"re plastic. And while there are certainly many, many, many reasons - all very valid - for you to believe they are fake, there are also a few that would tip the tit scales on to my side. Therefore, I offer you my reasons for authencity.
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