Lilo: Horny & Hungry?
Us Weekly is reporting that Lindsay has found herself a new fixation: McDonalds for her stomach, Brody Jenner for her privates.
And rather than pursuing her needs the old fashioned way, she has taken to texting him her request, writing in what was likely broken English that all she wants is “McDonalds and sex”.
Spoken like a directionless fool, non?
Sounds like her mother raised her right. Sounds like my mother raised me wrong. All that nonsense about not being desperate, about having some self respect, about making a man earn your love instead of giving it away for an order of supersized fries or, as my Chinese chicken mama would say, an order of sticky rice wrap…all that according to the Dina Lohan Guidebook for Girls is rubbish.
Because what a nice girl does is throw herself at a boy who’s goosed everyone else in town – via electronic medium using sex as the open door. Because THAT is how you let ‘em know you can’t be used.
Nice tip for Valentine’s Day – good luck girls.