Points for just showing up

April 10, 2013 15:33:20 Posted at April 10, 2013 15:33:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN, JB Nicholas /Splash

Lindsay Lohan was on Letterman last night. You may have already heard about their “awkward” exchange when he pressed her on her rehab and when she’s going and her addictions, etc, but when you watch it back, you’ll see it wasn’t awkward. It was banter. She actually sasses him. He let her sass him. In fact, by his standards, he was very gracious, very kind. Awkward was how Letterman spoke to Shia LaBeouf. Click here for a refresher. Awkward was how he treated Kristen Stewart who is, herself, awkward. But she’s not a piece of sh-t loser. And she’s certainly not a f-ck up. And yet for some reason, Letterman seems to reserve so much kindness for the assholes, like Lindsay Lohan, like Ebola Paris Hilton.

I suppose one reason for his gentle treatment of Lohan (he complimented her so sincerely -- and told her she looks “great” -- she CRIED in gratitude if that’s any indication), as he acknowledges, is that he appreciated that she... actually showed up and agreed to be interviewed.

Is that all it takes now?

Well, for Lindsay Lohan, that’s how low the standards are.

It’s how low OUR standards are.

For years, Lohan has been tossing off meaningless aphorism after meaningless aphorism, nothing you can’t read off a calendar, and for years, people have been stupid enough to applaud it. They applauded when she said this, of rehab:

"To be honest, I'm happiest when I'm working – the healthiest. I think this is an opportunity for me to focus on what I love in life. And I don't think it's a bad thing. I think it's a blessing."

Everything’s a blessing. If it was such a f-cking blessing, why is she putting it off until May 2nd ?????????????? That’s also what she told Letterman, by the way. That she was due in rehab, her blessing, on May 2nd. May 2nd, by the way, is after Coachella. 

Here, right now, think of a blessing, what you would consider to be a blessing. Something so significant your life would be BLESSED because of it. Is it your child’s safety? Is it a good news test result from the lab? It is a timely gift that will help you hold on to your home? Is it a raise? 

Great.

Now put that off until May 2.

PUT THE BLESSING OFF FOR FOUR WEEKS.

That’s Lindsay Lohan and her “blessing”.

Lindsay Lohan’s blessing will wait until after she fills her party quota. Which is -- surprise! -- what she did last night. Paps caught her leaving 1 Oak around 2am. Avi Snow, her new boyfriend, has been with her on the circuit in New York. 

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