Madge for Malawi

February 7, 2008 05:54:01 Posted at February 7, 2008 05:54:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She brought Lola. Lola who is already 11 – can you believe she’s already 11? – and refreshingly actually still LOOKS 11, unlike Ali Lohan who only looked 11 when she was inside her Dina’s womb. And while Lola is clearly showing the unmistakable sign of little girl vanity, her mother appears to be succeeding in holding on to her youth. Lola is dressed appropriately, she is posing appropriately awkwardly, she is not overgroomed, and she was allowed to wear black nail polish. Cute, non?

As for Madge herself – yes, there is a pit stain. Which actually kinda adds to the charm. Word is she was super anxious last night. And she said so herself before the auction:

“I don"t think I have ever been so nervous in my life. It would be easier to stand on stage in front of 80,000 people than address you here about a cause that means so much to me.”

Also, before you go focusing on her sweat issues, remember this is a woman turning 50 this year. Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman should seriously consider using her surgeon. Because Madonna looks amazing. And that body is f&cking ridiculous.

As was the guest list last night. Amazingly enough the Kabbalists actually mingled with the Scientologists and Jennifer Lopez managed to exist in the same room with both Madge and my Gwyneth. You will recall several years ago, JLo openly insulted Madonna’s accomplishments during a magazine interview, criticising her acting and her singing and her talent. Same goes for Gwyneth who Lopez said was only famous for dating Brad Pitt. And of course there’s the Ben Affleck connection.

Last night though the divas put the drama behind them and united for the cause. Madge offered up a concert package offering 4 VIP tickets to see her on tour this year with first class air fare and two nights at the Ritz and a private yoga session with both her and Gwyneth that eventually auctioned for over US$650,000.

Uma’s boyfriend and Elle Macpherson’s ex Arki Busson shelled out US$70,000 for Gucci fashion show tickets AND naming rights on a new bag. Can you imagine??? Can you imagine having a bag named after you for the bargain price of $70K?

And there was even some Becks up for grabs too. Salma Hayek and Anna Wintour went bitch to bitch bidding over a private hour playing football with David Beckham. Salma won for $400,000. Bet your concrete tits Victoria will be supervising that little session.

All told, the evening exceeded expectations. Although my sources say, the Cruises were like outcasts and the buzz was: where’s Guy? Guy was not photographed. Guy was supposedly not there…

Photos from and

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