How Madonna works out
Madonna is still on holiday in the South of France with her family and her boyfriend. She was photographed on Monday working out with a trainer fully clothed, like right up to the wrists and ankles. For maximum sweat? Kinda like how a wrestler drops weight? I couldn’t. I can’t even run outside in the summer after 8am. It’s too goddamn hot. Yesterday on the treadmill, as the air conditioning was cranked, I could barely stand it. Not sure how she manages. But somehow she does. And the fact that she doesn’t like showing all that much skin anymore probably helps with that too. The other day I posited in this article that Madonna doesn’t do bikinis anymore. Someone wrote to say that she’s never been into bikinis.
I don’t blame you for burying Swept Away.
Oh holy f-ck, remember Swept Away? No? Because it’s too painful? I know. But in Swept Away she was in a black bikini almost the whole time. Swept Away is definitive proof that Guy Ritchie loved Madonna. Why else would he have made that movie with her? One of these days I’m going to have a Swept Away viewing party. And no one will come.
Anyway, as you can see, the former Mrs Ritchie is leg swinging on the bench, there are some aerobics going on there too, and also exercises with a medicine ball. I hate the medicine ball. It’s not the weight, it’s the way it feels in your hands. I always feel like I can’t grasp it securely enough. Have I mentioned that for the last two weeks or so I’ve been eating and training for TIFF? It’s a pain in the ass.
Afterwards Madonna hit up the pool to watch her kids play. Again totally covered. I get it that when you’re at a certain age, you do what you can to prevent damage. It’s just… I wonder, in adhering to those restrictions so closely, whether she actually knows how to have fun anymore.
UPDATE: these photos have been taken down at the request of the photo agency.